You're jokes
What's the difference between your dad and the mailman? Nothing.
If you're a cat person, never let hungry Chinese into your house. They might just have a snack.
Little Johnny walked in on his mom in the shower and said, "What's that on your chest, Mom?" Mom said, "Those are my headlights." Johnny: "Oh. What's that in between your legs, Mom?" Mom: "Oh, that's my bush." Johnny: "Oh, OK." Next, he walked in on his dad in the shower. He said, "Dad, what's that in between your legs?" Dad: "Oh, that's my snake." Johnny: "Oh, OK." That night, little Johnny walks in on his parents going at it and said, "Mom, turn on his headlights, there's a snake going in your bush!"
Roses are red, violets are blue, faces like yours belong in the zoo. Don't worry, I will be there too, not in the cage but laughing at you.
Sike, I lied, your mom is a guy!
Your mom is so fat, she played bowling with the planets.
The best thing about an orphan? They don’t have to suffer from "your mama" jokes.
"Ur Grandma" You think you're funny? Well, sorry, but you're not.
Your forehead is so big we could fit the whole alphabet on there.
God said, “Let there be light,” so it beamed off your forehead, and so I turned into Stevie Wonder and called it night.
If I were a judge and gave you a sentence, I would sentence you to life for your looks.
When you tell the men in the suits you can see that the demons of your sins are watching you...
But they know you're blind.
Where's your mom?
In the bin.
Some guy came to me and said, "I'm your dad's friend. He asked me to pick you up."
*Laughing freaking hard* and told him, "Did you dig the grave?"
Bro, stop. You guys are saying the same jokes over and over. If you're gonna tell a 9/11 joke, just go laugh about the Great Thumps.
How do you make a little girl cry for a second time?
By wiping her blood off your dick with her teddy bear.
I called my mom on Alexa, and she told me, "Please take out the trash." I said, "But I can't, you're not here."
"I have good and bad news," the doctor said to his patient.
"Give me the good news first," the patient said.
"Your test results are back," the doctor said, "and you have only two days to live."
"That's the good news?" the patient exclaimed. "What's the bad news?"
"I've been trying to reach you for two days."
A son tells his father, "I have an imaginary girlfriend."
The father sighs and says, "You know, you could do better."
"Thanks Dad," the son says.
The father shakes his head and goes, "I was talking to your girlfriend."
POV: Orphans rule the world.
God said, "I'm your dad," then kills himself.
The orphan: Waaaaaa!