You're jokes

Why is a gun like a box of chocolates?

If you pull one out in class, everyone wants to be your friend.

When someone says: "You're a mistake."

Say: "The only mistake I see is right in front of me."

You're so poor, when a robber robs your house, they feel bad for you and just leave.

Your mum is so fat she sat on Walmart and lowered the prices.

How's your dad?

What? I forgot he's still sleeping.

Bully: Your mom hates you.

Orphan: I don't have parents ;)

Depression: Here, your mom just died.

Me: My mom is already dead.

Your momma! OHHHHH!

Me: I saw an emo kid that got a haircut today. But instead of saying “Like ya cut g” and slapping the neck, I slapped the wrist and said “Like ya cut’s g.”

Emo kid: He said like your bullet holes, G.

Me: I have no bullet holes.

Emo kid: Not yet, you don't.

Me: Ayo what the fuc*.

Kid: Why is Pluto a dwarf planet?

Kid 2: Why?

Kid: 'Cause it's as short as your dick.

Your hairline is so long that when I put it on email, it didn't send, which is ETHAN BRIDEWATER.

I'm sorry, but your dad left for milk.

Interviewer: What are your strengths?

Interviewee: I fall in love easily.

Interviewer: And your weaknesses?

Interviewee: Those beautiful green eyes of yours...

My teacher asked the class to stand up if you're dumb. No one did, so she said, "Come on, someone must be dumb," and pointed over to the left side of the classroom. Lil Jonny stands up. "Do you think you're dumb, Lil Jonny?" asked the teacher. "No, I just feel bad for you. You're the only one who stood up," replied Lil Jonny!

Your hairline is so far back that when I wrote it on a chalkboard, it did not erase.

Don't you just hate when you have to eat cereal with water because your dad won't bring the fucking milk? Cause same.

If you say the word "gullible" slowly, it will sound like you're saying "orange."

I like...

Wendy's.

"Wendeez nuts in your mouth."

Your mother.

Sister: You're adopted.

Me: At least they wanted me, they must feel terribly bad cuz they had to keep you :(