You're

You're jokes

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  • 3
  • Ball

  • Why did your dad FUCKING LEAVE YOU? He went to suck balls.

    What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?

    She gagged.

    Orphan

  • I saw a kid sitting on the curb and I asked him, "Are you an orphan?"

    He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?" "You're parents did."

    Toddler

  • Don't see why people say that babysitting a toddler is hard. You just grease the bathtub, put them inside with some food and drink, and go do your business. I guarantee you that they will still be there when you return.

    If you stay in the house, you might need to use sound cancelling headphones too, though.

  • 2
  • Mental Illness

  • My friend, while we are shopping and I'm telling her about my mental illness: "You're priceless."

    When we get to the checkout: "I'm actually $2.50."

  • 1
  • Comeback

  • Bully: Hey virgin!

    Victim: I'm not a virgin, just ask your sister.

    Bully: I don't have a sister, dumbass.

    Victim: Just wait nine months.

  • 9
  • Hamster

  • What does a cigarette and a hamster have in common?

    Both are completely harmless until you put it in your mouth and light it on fire.

  • 1
  • Pizza

  • "Want to hear a joke about pizza? Never mind, it is too cheesy."

    "YOU MORON ITS *TOO* not TO, IM GOING TO EAT YOU ALIVE AND RIP OUT YOUR PROSTATE"

  • 2