You're

You're jokes

I went to an emo kid who just got a haircut, and instead of saying, "Like your cut, G," I slapped his arm and said, "I like your cuts, G."

My Grandpa said, “Your generation relies too much on technology!” I replied, “We'll see about that.” Then I unplugged his life support.

Man: Can you be my girlfriend?

Woman: I'm lesbian, sorry.

Man: Oh, here's your rope.

  • 4
  • "I’m on a hunt for my wife’s murderer, have been for years."

    "Oh my God! Your wife’s been murdered?!"

    "No no, you misunderstand. I’m still looking for him."

    "Batteries, batteries, who the batteries in your remotes and everything else you got in your house is turned upside down?"

    You know the phrase "one man's trash is another man's treasure"?

    Great phrase, bad way to find out you're adopted!

    Teacher: What's 3 minus 1? Me: I don't know. Teacher: How about this, you have three cakes, I take one. How many cakes do you have? Me: Three. Teacher: If I take one cake from your three, what do you have? Me: Three cakes and a dead teacher.

    My crush's best friend came up to me and called me my crush's dog 🐕, so then I say, "Wow, you're an ass for calling me a bitch." He then looks at me wide-eyed, and I just walk away.

    One day my mom told me to take out the trash, and I did. The next day, mom asked me, "Where is your sister?" and I said, "A garbage truck took her." Mom started running to try and get the truck before it left.

    Your hairline is so far back I learned about it in history class.