You jokes

Are your forehead and your hairline best friends because they look like they go way back?

You wanna hear an Indian egg joke? (yeah-)

Never mind. You won't understand.

Roses are red. Violets are blue, when a sumo saw you, he peed his pants.

Roses are red, violets are blue, but at least a dumptruck isn't as ugly as you.

Why did Jesus come back from the dead? He forgot to tell you that you're gay!

Sorry for this Pick Up Line.

Are you a building? Because I rate you 9/11, so let me put my plane in and let kids fall out.

What do you call a train full of gum?

A chew chew train.

What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?

A family picture.

What would you do after seeing your most loved one shot? Reload.

sad sad sad

now you laugh and like

thank you!

What do you call an emo who just crossed the road? Roadkill.

Doctor: I have bad news.

Man: What?

Doctor: There are two things wrong with you. First, you have cancer.

Man: Oh, no...

Doctor: Second, you have Alzheimer's.

Man: Well, at least I don't have cancer!

You're so goddamn stupid, you thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.

What do you call a white man farting? "British Gas."

Timmy: Stupid motherfucker.

Jimmy: Wow, do you kiss your mother with that mouth?

Timmy: *starts crying*

Jimmy: Ah fuck, I did it again.

Are you serious right now, bro?

You are so poor, when I pass you, you ask for spare change, and I was poor, too.

What do you call a retard that got hit by a car? Mashed potatoes.

Hi, are you even my sister?

Yes, I am.

No, you're not, because you never even existed as my sister.

Like if you have a dick, or you are an orphan.