You jokes
What STD can you get from phone sex?
Hearing AIDS.
What do you call a disabled person called Gerald?
GERALD!
What do you call a gay drive-by?
A fruit roll up.
So big that when you step, you break the whole galaxy.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
What can't you say to an emo?
Hang in there, buddy!
The cheetah and lion are racing. The cheetah wins.
The lion says, "Man, you a cheetah."
The cheetah says, "Nah, you lion!"
Read this:
Crack
What did you think of? A window crack or the drug?
So, I had an orphan friend, and he asked me, "How's your girlfriend?" I said, "I don't have one." He said, "I know, I just wanted to remind you." Then I asked, "How are your parents?" After that, I never saw him again.
I would roast you, but the mirrors do when you look at them.
No, you!
They're making a new Alien movie.
There are so many aliens you can't keep track.
What do you call a masturbating cow?
Beef stroganoff.
Do you know you’re supposed to wash your sex toys after you use them?
I guess that’s why Catholics invented baptism.
For me, the best part of depression is remaining charming around strangers but saving the misery for the ones who love you.
What is the difference between a Walking Dead and you? He doesn't feel pain.
How do you know someone is going to die?
He can't stop coughing. (coffin)
A blonde walks into the doctor's office. She tells the doctor, "My boyfriend has dandruff."
The doctor tells her to use Head and Shoulders. She leaves. About an hour later, the doctor's phone rings. He answers, it's the blonde. The doctor asks how he can help her. "Well doctor, I understand head, but how do you 'hove' shoulders?"
Do you know what the "W" in Africa stands for? Water!
What do you call a booty that can do magic?
A butt trick!