You jokes
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun? Special forces.
The cheetah and lion are racing. The cheetah wins.
The lion says, "Man, you a cheetah."
The cheetah says, "Nah, you lion!"
What's long and hard and has c*m in the middle? Cucumber. What were you thinking?
What do you call a hippo that lays eggs? A eggoppotimos.
Are your forehead and your hairline best friends because they look like they go way back?
When your dad asks what you want for dinner in a group chat…..
Roses are red. Violets are blue, when a sumo saw you, he peed his pants.
What do you call one orphan taking a photo?
A family photo.
Roses are red, violets are blue, but at least a dumptruck isn't as ugly as you.
Sorry for this Pick Up Line.
Are you a building? Because I rate you 9/11, so let me put my plane in and let kids fall out.
Me: How do you say yes in Spanish? You: Si. Me: Si if these nuts fit in your mouth.
Ugly face dude: Hi kiddo!
Kid: Hi kid. Leaves.
Kid turns back and says: Wait a minute, who are you?
Armless guy: Even though I don’t have arms, I can do anything you normal people can do.
Me: 🎵If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands! 🎶
Roses are red,
I am dead.
You could call me wet, or I will keep your dread.
Are you a noose, 'cause I wanna hang out with you?
What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
A family portrait.
Your hairline [is] so bad even your mama left you.
How do you cause an African parade?
You just carry a water bottle around and hold it up!
How many beans are there in Irish chili?
Answer: 239
Why are there two hundred and thirty-nine?
Answer: (spoken in Irish Brogues) Because if you add one more, it'd be "two farty."
Your hairline is so bad that you have a humongous forehead.
Did you know Princess Diana's last dress she wore was white? But afterwards, it was red.