You jokes
How old do you have to be to drink? Any age.
What do you say to a bully?
I might not be perfect, but at least I'm not you!
How do you say "nose" in Spanish?
hmm.... No sé.
The thing I don't like about shopping centers...
When you see one, you've seen a mall.
What do you call a pig that does karate?
A pork chop!
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What do you call a cow with two legs?
Lean beef.
Two of the worst jokes ever.
"Do you want to hear a joke?"
"Yes."
"Okay, record yourself and then listen to it!"
Like if you hate school.
While I was out shopping, I tripped in a store and a lady would not stop staring at me. For fun, I said, "Sorry! It's been a while since I've possessed a body." She looked horrified.
Dads are like boomerangs... I hope!
Son: Dad, why is my name Experience? Dad: Son, Experience is the name we give our mistakes.
You won't eat a human, so why eat meat? Bold of you to presume I won't eat a person.
Most of the people here: That's not funny, lots of people died.
Bruh, why are you in here if you can't take a joke?
How many babies does it take to cover a brick wall?
Depends on how hard you throw it. 😆😂😁
Person: You can't kill an orphan!
Me: What are they going to do, go tell their parents?
What do you call a pillow that has been on the bed for 20 years in jail?
A criminal! 😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃
So, some ants in a colony go to war. They want some more troops and know that there are ants that went to wars as well. They call them war-ants.
They start barging into homes to search for more war-ants. They barge into a home, and the lady-ant goes, "Hey, why are you here? Can you please leave?" One of the ants replies with, "I'm sorry, but unless you have a war-ant, we have to keep searching your house."
What's the worst part of breaking up with a Japanese girl?
You have to drop the bomb twice until she finally gets it.
You know you’re going bald when you use more toothpaste than shampoo.
Ten Catholic priests all die in a bus accident. When they arrive at the pearly gates, St. Peter acknowledges them. He sees that they're all priests and immediately says "If any of you are pedophiles, there's no point waiting here. You might as well eff off straight to hell right now!” Nine of the priests turn around and begin to walk away. St. Peter calls after them, "AND TAKE THE DEAF BASTARD WITH YOU TOO!”
If you're American when you go in the bathroom and you're American when you come out, what are you in the bathroom?
European.
What do you call someone who makes a joke about Bread society?
The Doughker.
What can change color and get beat up?
You.