You jokes
Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered, "Y?"
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
My name is Ach.
Ach who?
Bless you!
Why is "dark" spelled with a "k" and not with a "c"?
Because you can't C in the dark!
Weed: *gets hit by his own power*
Cop: Wait, shouldn’t you be resistant to your own element?
Weed: Are you resistant to bullets when you shoot a gun?
You know why you remind me of a calculator? Because 1+1 equals the two of us.
ky you def like her
Did you hear about the roofer who went to the doctor? He had shingles.
Did you hear about the guy who was afraid of hurdles? He got over it.
Did you hear about the guy who drank invisible ink? He's at the hospital waiting to be seen.
Did you hear about the cat that ate a lemon? Now it's a sourpuss.
Are you a gravestone?
Because I really wish you were on top of me right now!
I hate when people leave their cars running, especially in the summer.
I'm like, "You got Tracy Latimer in there or something?"
What do you call a deep diver? A DeepWoken player.
Do you wanna eat makeup, 'cause you're not pretty on the inside?
Freddy: I'm coming for you >:)
Me: God, no, help!
*game notification pops up with very loud sound*
You text someone to ask them why they snobbed you. Then they snob you again.
What do you call an Argentinian with a rubber toe?
Roberto!
You must work at McDonald's because you have a McDouble chin.
The moment when you throw the nut away and try to eat the shell.
Never gonna give you up.
Your hairline's so far back, you need binoculars to see it.
Man, your hairline is so far back, archaeologists couldn't find it.