You jokes

How do you get a squirrel's attention? Act like a nut.

What should you do to prevent dry skin? Use a towel.

Did you hear about the woman who couldn't stop collecting magazines? She had issues.

What should you do if you meet a giant? Use big words.

How do you disappoint people in Africa?

Send a message saying that you’re going to send trucks full of food, water, and clothing.

But don’t follow through and send the trucks empty.

Being a mom to a teenager will make you understand why some animals eat their young.

Note to all moms of teens, keep a dog. That way, someone is excited to see you!

Q: What do you call a rich Asian? A: Dr.

What do you call headphones that walk out on their children? Deadbeats.

What is the difference between the pizza guy and my dad?

The pizza guy shows up when you call him.

What do you call a factory that makes okay products?

"A satisfactory."

Your dad is so smart, he took one look at you and left.

If you can make a woman laugh, you're almost there.

If you're almost there and then she laughs, then you've got a whole different problem on your hands.

"How does dry skin affect you at work?""You don’t have any elbow grease to put into it."

"Dad, did you get a haircut?"

"No, I got them all cut!"

Did you know? The most Black Holes in the Universe are all found in Africa!

How do you make a mime cry?

You kill his family right in front of his stupid face.

What did the ass say to the joke?

"You crack me up!"

What do you call an ass on a beach?

Sandy cheeks!

How do you make an ass laugh?

Crack a CHEEKY JOKE.