You jokes

What’s the difference between a cow and Hitler jokes?

You can’t milk the cow after 12 years.

How do you call an iPhone cover in Germany?

An apple bag. 😜

Do you know that foundation called "Autism Speaks"?

No, it screeches.

Bully: Shut up.

Me: I don't shut up, I grow up, and when I look at you, I throw up.

My priest asked if anyone had any questions or anything interesting they wanted to say.

So I raised my hand, he said why don’t you tell everyone what you have to say.

In front of the whole church I said I did not know Jesus Christ was the first scarecrow.

What do you call two old men drooling in their wheelchairs?

The 2028 US election.

Q: How do you know if an Asian broke into your house?

A: All your homework and the Rubik's cube you spent a year on and still can’t solve is solved. 🤓🤓🤓🤓

Your earlobes are so big, you can fit your mom inside of them 5000 times and still have room for more!

What do you call an autistic army special forces?

Pete the panther was racing a cheetah but lost. The cheetah said, "You can’t beat me, I’m a cheetah." Pete said, "Yeah, you are a cheetah cheetah."

What do you call a kid in a wheelchair with a gun? RG-XD

In a deep village in Germany, an old man asked his granddaughter, "What are you doing?"

His granddaughter replies, "Removing Polish with chemicals."

Grandpa said, "When I was young, I did the same."

You know what orphans and I have in common? Our dads both left for the milk.

You smell!

Smoking will kill you.

Bacon will kill you.

But, smoking bacon will cure it!

My mom asked, "Why are you so depressed? It could be worse. You could be Tracy Latimer."

I replied, "I wish I were Tracy Latimer because then someone would kill me."

What do you call a booty that tells jokes?

A crack-up!

What do you call a midget stripper?

A pocket pussy.

What do you call a bunch of Black people in the river?

A black current...

Q: What do you call a little girl without arms and legs?

A: Names.