You jokes
Hey, did you hear about the cat revolution? It was a cat-astrophy! I guess we just have to stay PAWSitive!
Have you ever heard Stephen Hawking sing?
"Head, shoulders, wheels and frames, wheels and frames!"
What do you call an ugly, grey thing?
Cinderelephant!
Hi, how are you? Are you good?
Have you ever walked through Stephen Hawking's house? No?
Well..... neither has he.
What do you call a rude cow?
Beef jerky.
Roses are red, violets are blue,
I am gay, so are you.
Have you heard of bees? They're bee-utiful!
What's the difference between a gun and chips? When you bring it to class, everyone starts wanting to be your friend.
Have you heard about the awesome fruit race?
The lettuce was ahead, but the tomato was able to ketchup!
What time is it when you can drive home from phone?
What is the difference between a tree house for dinner, and dinner with you today after school?
What do you call a kid with no arms or legs?
Names......
How do you make a blond snowman? You can't, you have to hollow out the head.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, A face like yours belongs in the zoo, But don't you worry, I'll be there too, Not in a cage, but laughing at you!
What do you call a hot Mac Book Pro?
A Mac Daddy Pro.
“Did you show him the pictures of our cats?”
“Yes.”
“Did you hang ‘em?”
What do you call it when tectonic plates start racing?
Continental Drift.
How do you keep a blind kid entertained?
You take him to a stadium crowd, then give him a bat and tell him to hit the piñata.
What do you call a Pokémon that wants to be a police officer?
Magic-cop!