Are your forehead and hairline friends? 'Cause they go way back.
You Jokes
You're so bald, Bob Hope would refer to you as "grandpa."
The only woman to ever tell you that they loved you was your mom. (If she even loved you in the first place.)
What did the toaster say to the piece of bread? "I want you inside me."
The best way to tell someone that you don't like them is by texting them "370HSSV 0773H" and tell them to read it upside down.
I’m lost. Can you give me directions to your heart?
Your dad? Oh wait, you don’t have that!
I can tell you used to be friends with your hairline, cuz it goes way back.
You're so tall that you are a measuring tape.
How is a beer can and an Indian the same? You can find them both smashed on the side of the road!
I'm throwing an orgy for people on antidepressants.
Let me know if you can't cum.
What do you call a black prostitute with braces?
A Black & Decker pecker wrecker.
Why are friends a lot like snow?
If you pee on them, they disappear.
Don't take my posts seriously, take them like your ex took you—as a joke.
What do you call a cat with two legs instead of four?
Dead and without use, that's what I feel like.
You make Sanic look like a PRINCESS when he's next to you.
I thank God that I'm not as ugly as you.
When you see someone with a double chin that’s sad:
Hey come on, man, keep your chin up. Wait, which one?
Obama: It smells like UpNigga in here...
Trump: What's UpNigga?
Obama: Omg did you say the n word?? Die!!!
Little Johnny said to his mate, "I bet I can make you swear." His mate said, "Good luck." So Johnny told his mate that he slept with his sister. His mate yelled, "I'm gonna fucking kill you!"
