You jokes
You heard a conversation between Sans and Papyrus:
Sans: "Sub bro."
Papyrus: "DON'T 'SUB' ME BROTHER! YOU STILL DIDN'T REDINTEGRATE YOUR PUZZLES!"
Sans: "Easy bro, I have done a ton of work today."
Sans: "A skele-ton."
(Drum effect)
Papyrus: "OH MY GOD SANS!"
What do you use to strap an eagle's nest together?
An eagle-lastic band!
What time is it when you can drive home from phone?
What is the difference between a tree house for dinner, and dinner with you today after school?
What do you call a burger 🍔 with one eye?
A one giant.
What is your car you cannot drive? A super flying car!
What do you call purple when it's being mean? Violent.
Me: That’s a good WAVE.
Friend: I SEA it.
Wave: Doesn't break for us to surf on.
Me: I was SHORE it would be good.
Friend: I SEA what you did there.
What did my dad say before he went to go get milk?
"There's money in my wallet for pizza. I love you."
Do you want to hear three jokes?
Joke Joke Joke.
Why are you censoring my friend Franz? He's just making jokes, but you admins get offended too easily, f*cktards!
If you take a cap off a bottle, is it decapitation?
Sorry guys, I tried. I tried harder this time. I'll try again. Sorry, I can't delete things.
I wish I could tell you about my penis, but it's too short.
What does your girl do to me? She sucks me off.
I caught my mom licking up and down and deep throating a banana. I said, "Why are you doing that?" She replied, "I’m doing it for practice for who could suck the best dick contest in the neighborhood."
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Your dad.
But my dad's dead.
I know, just reminding you!
What do you call intelligent people in the U.S.?
Tourists.
A kid asks his mom what dark humor is.
She says, “You see that man with no arms, tell him to clap.”
“But mom, I’m blind!” says the kid.
“Exactly,” replied the mom.
Mia: I'm pregnant again, Paul. I can't wait for you to come home.
Paul: I got a tree to hit on the way.
What are the odds of you being in a relationship that is going on in the next few months?