You jokes

Did you know there was food on the plane that caused 9/11?

It was the bomb.

What do you call a bitch?

You call it a female dog.

How do you get a Pikachu on a bus?

You poke it on.

You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving, you need a parachute to go skydiving twice.

What do you call someone that looks like Stephen Hawkins and is a space head? Byron Davey.

Question: Do you know who Candis is?

Answer: Can dis dick fit in your mouth?

An autistic woman walks into a bar. "A serving of Screaming Banshee, please," she says.

The bartender says, "Ok, you seem to like it, unlike a retired special ed teacher that passed through a few minutes ago."

Roses are red, Violets are twisted, Come back to my place, You might get fisted.

Roses are red, Kevin Spacey is gay,

If you'd stayed with your parents, I wouldn't have taken you away.

How do you leave an idiot in suspense? I'll tell you tomorrow!

What do you call a restaurant that sells food that contains weed?

McBongald's.

Knock, knock.

"Who's there?"

"Ash."

"Ash who?"

"Bless you!"

Person 1: Hey, did you hear about the circus fire?

Person 2: No.

Person 1: It was in-tents.

What did one hurricane say to the other?

"I got my EYE on you!"

You want a pizza from me!!!!

You know the difference between happy tailgaters and angry tailgaters?

Happy tailgaters know how to throw a party.

What do you call a moose that doesn't want to be known? Anonymoose.

What do you call a dog magician?

Labracadabrador!

Life is beautiful, but you are ugly.

What did the skeleton say when the other skeleton lied to him?

"You can't lie to me! I can see right through you!"