You jokes

What do you call a strong, independent girl in Haryana?

Dead.

What do you call a lying Mexican?

Pinocchico.

As a lifelong farmer, I was excited that Ligue 1 was moving up the UEFA ranking toward an Industrial Revolution and I can finally leave the farm. Alas, Pessi joined and we went down a rank because he is so finished. Shame on you Pessi, now I have to go back to shoveling cow shit.

What do you call a kid that's in the fire? Hot Wheels.

Random guy: Hi, how old are you?

Me: 15

The guy: You're so young, age is just a number.

Me: Do you know what else is a number?

The guy: What?

Me: 911

You're so poor, when a robber robs your house, they feel bad for you and just leave.

Why can't a dodo fly? Cus it suicided when it saw you will be born soon.

Your mom went to the ocean, and the whales said, "We are family," even though you are fatter than me.

My friend: You're so skinny, you never miss the elevator when it's closing. You just slip right through!😂

Me thinking it's a gift from God: 🕴️😎

What did my dad say before he went to go get milk?

"There's money in my wallet for pizza. I love you."

What do you call a burger 🍔 with one eye?

A one giant.

What is your car you cannot drive? A super flying car!

What do you use to strap an eagle's nest together?

An eagle-lastic band!

I wish I could tell you about my penis, but it's too short.

What does your girl do to me? She sucks me off.

Do you want to hear three jokes?

Joke Joke Joke.

Why are you censoring my friend Franz? He's just making jokes, but you admins get offended too easily, f*cktards!

If you take a cap off a bottle, is it decapitation?

Sorry guys, I tried. I tried harder this time. I'll try again. Sorry, I can't delete things.

Me: That’s a good WAVE.

Friend: I SEA it.

Wave: Doesn't break for us to surf on.

Me: I was SHORE it would be good.

Friend: I SEA what you did there.

I caught my mom licking up and down and deep throating a banana. I said, "Why are you doing that?" She replied, "I’m doing it for practice for who could suck the best dick contest in the neighborhood."