You jokes

Me: “You guys wanna know a cool fact?”

Friend 1: “Yeah.”

Friend 2: “Yea.”

Me: “Japan is RIGHT that way. If we swim all night...we’ll be able to get to Japan.”

Friend 3: “I love anime.”

Friend 1 & 2: “Nononononononononono!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Me: *Laughs at Friend 3*

All of you idiots who think that it is ok to laugh about us foster kids need to be shot.

Have you heard anything about this Chuck Norris guy? Yeh, me neither.

What do you get when you put an ape's brain in a gorilla? A feminist!

After seeing you sing, the dog got disinfected from rabies.

You call me a prostitute's son, I call you test-tube babies.

You're so skinny that if I were to put you on a flagpole, you would wave in the wind.

You're so bald that when you wear a poncho, you look like a broken condom.

You're so ugly when your mom dropped you off at school, she got a fine for littering.

What happens when you put a baby in a blender?

The baby is a cherry smoothie.

Father: I'm taking your toys to the orphanage.

Child: But why?

Doctor: I'm going to have to turn you away.

Orphan: But why?

If you are what you eat, then I’m black.

"What did the orphan say to the other orphan? \"You have a dad? Say he can have me, I will (let) you, so he can adopt me.\""

Do you know what you call a bunch of depressed kids?

"Suicide Squad!"

What do you get when you gobble down sweets?

What do you call a war dodo named Bob in WW2 and he came from Mars?

Bruno Mars.

Every woman will die in five seconds.

Mother: Dies.

Sister: Dies.

Girlfriend: Lives.

You: 🤬

What do you call a fat duck?

Donald Duck.

Q: What do a blond girl and a tornado have in common? A: There's a lot of blowing and sucking, then you lose your house.

A man and a child walk into the woods. The child turns to the man and says, "Mister, can we go home? It's getting late, and I'm scared to walk home."

The man turns to the child and says, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk home alone!"

You were born on a highway because that's where most accidents happen.