You jokes

Bro

Bro, your humor is so bad I bet you would laugh at this.

A B 💿.

War

What do you call a war dodo named Bob in WW2 and he came from Mars?

Bruno Mars.

Girlfriend

Every woman will die in five seconds.

Mother: Dies.

Sister: Dies.

Girlfriend: Lives.

You: 🤬

Tornado

Q: What do a blond girl and a tornado have in common? A: There's a lot of blowing and sucking, then you lose your house.

Memes

Sex

Boyfriend: Let's go to bed.

Girlfriend: No.

Boyfriend: Why?

Girlfriend: Because you want sex.

Boyfriend: No, I don't.

NEXT MINUTE

The man could hear banging.

Gorilla

Why would you leave a damn gorilla out in the middle of the parking lot after you let the zookeeper bring a chimpanzee home from the zoo because me and the gorilla had too much to drink?

Climber

What did one mountain climber say to the other mountain climber?

Man, you are really on edge.

Graveyard

Q: Why is the graveyard so noisy? A: Because all the coffin.

If you don't get it, it means because of people coughing.

Dad

Son: Hey, Dad, I'm cold. Can you give me a lift from work?

Dad: Hi Cold, nice to meet you. Sorry, I don't pick up strangers.

Son: I hate you!

Rose

Roses are red, Tomatoes are redder. I think we both know, I like you better.

Orphanage

Next time you get a call from anybody, say, "Hi, welcome to Dave's orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may I help you?"

Or,

"Hi, welcome to Pizza and Abortion clinic, your loss is our sauce!"

Word

I hate you—if you look at the first letters of the words, you'll know what I mean.

Interfischl

Happy

Apple

Tea

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Blonde

Blonde 1: Omg! Yesterday, I fucked a Brazilian!

Blonde 2: OMG YOU SLUT

Also Blonde 2: Wait, how much is a Brazilian?

Day

Hi, how are you? Busy, busy today and tomorrow. I have to go home from home and walk home. Walk and a bike. Walk, walk, and a bike to school tomorrow night. I have to have lunch with my mom and dad, and I have dinner with you tonight.