You jokes
Your dick is so small they thought you were a girl when you came into the world.
Boy: Wanna hear about my dick? Never mind, it's too short.
Girl: Wanna hear about my pussy? Fuck no, you won't get it.
*New teacher walks in* New Teacher: Hi there, class. My name is Mr. Willy. I will be your math teacher.
*Me in shock, "Willy"* Me: Willy Wonka, is that you?
What do you call a special ed class that’s flooded?
Vegetable soup.
What do you call an imposter octopus?
Octosus.
If someone has a gun and tries to shoot you, just say, “Hipity hoppity, that gun is my property.”
If you unironically think someone who killed themselves should have their body in jail, you are honestly such a fucking embarrassment to humanity.
If you go broke, you could always rent parking garages on your huge ass forehead.
What do you call Nicki Minaj covered in glue?
Sticky Minaj.
My girl asked me if I had seen a gorilla anywhere. I told her yes, I did see one a minute ago at the Central Park Zoo. He said if you don't behave, he will take you back to the jungle and have your ass abandoned for good.
What would you name your pet rabbit?
Harry.
You and me went up to stab your father. He was out, do not pout. They are coming after.
What did the cell phone say to his wife?
"I will give you a ring."
What do you call a dick playing badminton?
A shuttlecock.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
You wonder and you wonder. Grandma said you better go to bed now. Tell your dad and grandpa, and your dad and your mom.
I told my mum that a few guys tell me that you're a MILF.
My mom said what that is. I reply, "Mom, I'd Like To Fuck." My mum started out to laugh, then she told me, "Well, now you need a new stepdad."
What's wrong with 89?
You blow me and I owe you one.
What do you call a nut in jail?
A busted nut.
What did the minute hand say to the hour hand?
Why are you so tall?