You jokes

You ever look back at your ex and are like, "Wow! What was I thinking?"

Then I start to think I was the problem :(

Just kidding, fuck that asshole!

I'll never forget my grandpa's last words:

"You need to park a little closer."

My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.

I love sucking on food because if you really think about it, tits can be counted as food, so I could technically suck on a woman's tits.

How do you anger a Libertarian?

Don't tell him the truth.

You're so fat, you have your own gravitational pull.

Your hairline left you because you were too ugly for your push back hairline.

Your hairline is pushed back; we can see what you are thinking of.

If you tried to look at your hairline in a mirror, it would shatter into 100,000,000,000 pieces.

What do you call an Indian that doesn’t smell?

Asif

When I get jokes. They aren't f****** restarted like you.

My sister.

What is it called when you have four white people in the car?

Clear windows.

I asked a European what do you call Karens in your country? He said, "American women."

You are so white even Nippon Paint tried to sign you!

I find it interesting that if you rearrange the letters in the word “Mother-in-law” you get the words “Woman Hitler”.

What do you call a donkey and a potato?

Assround

What do you call a terrorist at a cinema?

A box office bomb.

What do you call an apartment full of black people?

A CON-dominium.

What do you call a group of rappers stuck in traffic?

A cypher circle.

What's the difference between a salad and a baby? People don't usually scream when you shake around a salad.