You jokes

I would tell you my jokes about pogs, but they would eventually get too boar-ing.

Friend: Knock, knock.

Me: Who's there?

Friend: Short.

Me: Short who?

Friend: Short you!

Me: 🙁

Friend: 🤣

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have a joke, so are you.

Knock knock, Who's there? Dad. You came back?

Leprechauns are stupid. No joke.

Are you a toaster?

Two fish in a bowl. First fish asks, "Haven't I seen you around here before?"

The second fish replies, "F**k me, a talking fish!"

You could say ancient Egyptians and JDM car fans are alike--they both worship Datsun.

"I hear you asking, 'What's your favorite instrument?' The Trombone."

Did you know that lots of graves are put in churchyards?

Yeah, they're pretty holey.

How do you call on a mail man who is carrying rotten fruit?

Come post!

A man walks into a bar. The corrections officer says, "Usually we open the cell before you go in, now stop bleeding on my floor!"

What do you call a stick with a string on the end of it?

A fishing pole.

What was the oak tree's response to the apple tree's joke?

You should leaf it alone!

Are you choked?

What do you call a bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear.

How are women like swimming pools?

They cost a great deal of money to maintain considering the time you spend inside.

One way to not pick up a girl is to say, “Are you an American school because I wanna shoot kids into you?” I tried it on a girl, and she is now terrified to come near me.

How was I supposed to know she was already pregnant?

Yo mama is so stupid, she thought keeping you was a good idea!

Due to her death, you can no longer get a letter from the Queen when you turn 100.

Instead, you now receive a text from Prince Andrew when you turn 14.

Did you hear about the young man who brought floral arrangements in the shape of a life jacket on his friend’s funeral who drowned last week?

Everyone was furious, but he explained, “It’s what he would have wanted.”