You jokes
How do you call a mirror and an orphan?
Family reunion.
When you ask an orphan to come over:
Kid: "Do you want to come over to my house?"
Orphan: "Yeah, sure."
Kid: "Ok, ask your parents—oh wait."
Do you know what the "f" in "orphan" stands for? Family. Oh wait, there is no "f."
What do you call an emo's face?
Elmo's son.
"Batteries, batteries, who the batteries in your remotes and everything else you got in your house is turned upside down?"
Do you know why boys can't ask girls out? Because they don't have any balls to ask girls out!
You can play Jenga in two places now: New York and Miami (Chaplin Towers.) They probably have Jenga tournaments there every year.
Did you hear about the fish and chips? The fish got battered, the chips got salted.
What happens when you hear about Mary Brittain beating a Thomas?
You cook spaghetti with his blood!
The patient said, "When will this be over?"
The doctor said, "After you die."
The patient says, "Was that a morbid joke?"
The doctor says, "Well, um, actually, you'll die because we broke the needles and the cure."
The patient says, "Well, it's a bright day, maybe if you weren't clumsy!"
You: OMG I CAN'T BELIEVE ALL THE KRAP THEY HAVE BEEN THROUGH!
The other person: Who?
You aka answer: Your Butt cheeks.
How do you get a blonde to drown? You tell them the bottom of the pool smells weird.
I'd tell you a joke about my boyfriend's dick, but it's a private joke.
If you take your dog for a walk and you BOTH use the fire hydrant down at the corner...you might be a Redneck!
What do you call a Punjabi that’s drowning? Mandeep.
Do you know when the thing of you when the was is where you and if you when you where if I and you where in the thing is where yes?
(Kids Doing A Science Project.) Kid 1: Did you bring Uranus?
Kid 2: Never leave home without it.
How can you tell that a blonde likes you? She only gives three fucking nights in a row.
You're walking one day and a little kid, about 5-6 years old, comes up to you asking, "What's a condom?" You have to give that child the wrong answer, what would you tell them? Comment on what you would tell them.
What do you call Peg and Cat from Peg + Cat? Egg + splat.
Eggy joke for all to enjoy!