You jokes

Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth, then it's a soap opera.

You're so fat, you have your own gravitational pull.

What do you call an Indian that doesn’t smell?

Asif

My friend in a wheelchair is autistic and tried to fight me, so I said: "If you wanna fight me, I'll run up the stairs, and by the time you get up the stairs, I'll already be down the stairs waiting," and he started crying.

I asked a European what do you call Karens in your country? He said, "American women."

You're so fat you need butter to get in the car.

What do you call a Pegasus that is being sus?

A megasus!

What do you call a nut that screws and then bolts?

An escapee from a mental hospital.

My gf/bf said: "I'm dating your uncle!" You cry and you look under your bed and your uncle says: "Damn."

If you were a room in my house, I’d make you the basement.

So I could put kids inside you.

When you're working in the Twin Towers, but you have to turn your computer to airplane mode.

What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?

Special forces.

I dare you to smile like a donut. Did you do it?

Q: What do you call a Chinese Billionaire?

A: Cha-ching!

Why can't you be gay and in a wheelchair?

Because you can't be a fruit and a vegetable at the same time.

"I work with animals," a guy says to his date.

"That's so sweet," she replies. "I love a man who cares about animals. Where do you work?"

"I'm a butcher," he replies.

Reverend Mother walks into the convent and announces:

"Sisters, our carrots have been delivered!"

Nuns exclaim: "Hurray! Carrots!"

Reverend Mother: "They are grated carrots, though."

Nuns: "Ugh! No, thank you then..."

Roses are red, violets are blue. I was born pretty, what happened to you?

What do you call an Indian in a shower?

A cleaner.

What do you call a gay retard? Fruit and vegetable soup.