You jokes
You know they say, when you get lemons make lemonade... Well, I took that a little bit too literal.
Turns out squeezing your wife's tits as hard as you can hurts them.
But at least lemonade came out!
What is the difference between an orphan and a non-orphan? You can slap the orphan, but not the non-orphan because they can actually tell their parents.
You look like a double dipped chocolate chip cliff flipped glazed charcoal slim jim Mr. clog hunch frap, no feet, 9 arms, 17 stomachs. You stepdad beat you with a wiffle ball bat. NBA Youngboy was in your bathroom spitting on you and now you got herpes on your left side cheek.
Your mom is so fat, that burger.
What do you call it when you sell Panera Bread in your shed?
Panera Shed.
Your forehead is so big that when you put glasses on top of your head, it falls off.
How do you call a very good lemonade?
Fantatastic!
If mom saw you, she would die and be happy because of you being ugly.
How do you know when a joke has turned into a dad joke?
When it leaves you and never comes back.
If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I’d be broke.
Why should you always knock on the fridge door before opening it? In case there's a salad dressing.
When you're lonely, watch a scary movie. You won’t feel lonely anymore!
You know it’s called the circle of life? Because there’s no point to it.
You know stairs, right? The dark... My there is something. I know that if you fall down the stairs, your balls will be crushed!
Did you know you don't actually wash your hands?
They wash each other while you stand there looking at them like a creep.
Kid me: I lost my stick.
Teacher: No, you didn’t.
Kid me: How do you know that?
Teacher: It’s hanging out of your pants.
What do you call a dumpster with an antenna on it? Radio Morocco.
What do you call a Spanish toilet?
Elton John.
If this gets 10 comments (I don't care about likes) I will write a four page essay and post it, and it's up to you guys what it's about.
If you were to drop an emo and a leaf off a tree, who would hit the ground first?
The leaf, because the emo is always hanging.