You jokes
How do you get a koala to die? Kill it.
Roses are red, violets are blue. I was born pretty, what happened to you?
What do you call a group of jumping Mexicans?
Border hoppers! LOL.
What do you call an Indian in a shower?
A cleaner.
An orphan comes up to me and says, "You're ugly." I said, "You remind me of Spider-Man: No Way Home."
Question: What do you say to give a woman from West Virginia a "Nice Compliment"?
Answer: You say to her: "NICE TOOTH!"
One time, I was working this steamroller when the guy who I squashed farted.
I guess that’s what you call “FLAT”ulence.
My friend in a wheelchair is autistic and tried to fight me, so I said: "If you wanna fight me, I'll run up the stairs, and by the time you get up the stairs, I'll already be down the stairs waiting," and he started crying.
You're so fat you need butter to get in the car.
What do you call a nut that screws and then bolts?
An escapee from a mental hospital.
Your girlfriend/boyfriend says: "I'm dating your uncle..." You start crying and you look under the bed and your uncle says: "Damn."
Son: Dad, where are you?
Dad: Getting another one.
Son: Getting what?
Dad: Dad.
Judge to the defendant: "Defendant, do you have a criminal record?"
"No."
"Have you always been honest?"
"No, never been caught!"
Roses are red, Violets are blue, When life gets tough, I'll stand by you.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, In every step you take, My support stays true.
If you don’t know the difference between their, there, and they’re, then you're an idiot.
"What do you call a person who is afraid of Santa Claus?"
"Claustrophobic!"
Welcome to Dave’s orphanage. You make it, we take it.
Why shouldn't you make fun of burn victims?
Because they've already been roasted!
People ask me, "Are you an organ donor?"
"Yeah, over my dead body!"