Were you born on a highway? Because that's where most accidents happen.
You Jokes
Me: Breathe right now if you wanna date me.
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Knock, knock, knock, knock, knock." "Who?" "Knock, knock you."
What do you call a cute door? A-door-able!
How do you anger a Libertarian?
Don't tell him the truth.
Question and answer 🙄
Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth, then it's a soap opera.
You're so fat, you have your own gravitational pull.
What do you call an Indian that doesn’t smell?
Asif
My friend in a wheelchair is autistic and tried to fight me, so I said: "If you wanna fight me, I'll run up the stairs, and by the time you get up the stairs, I'll already be down the stairs waiting," and he started crying.
I asked a European what do you call Karens in your country? He said, "American women."
You're so fat you need butter to get in the car.
What do you call a Pegasus that is being sus?
A megasus!
What do you call a nut that screws and then bolts?
An escapee from a mental hospital.
My gf/bf said: "I'm dating your uncle!" You cry and you look under your bed and your uncle says: "Damn."
What do you call a black person having a fit?
A chocolate milkshake.
If you were a room in my house, I’d make you the basement.
So I could put kids inside you.
When you're working in the Twin Towers, but you have to turn your computer to airplane mode.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special forces.
I dare you to smile like a donut. Did you do it?
Q: What do you call a Chinese Billionaire?
A: Cha-ching!
