You jokes

Q: Where do you bury the people killed in 9/11?

A: It's already done for you.

What do you call a cute door?

Yo hairline so long, it makes you look like Mr. Clean.

You're so fat, when you wear a yellow raincoat, people call out, "TAXI!"

What do you call a nosy Mexican?

That's nacho business.

Tell the person next to you to spell "me." When they do, say, "You forgot the D." They should respond with, "There is no D in ME." You say, "Not yet." If this does not go as planned, well, then you are fucked for life.

What do you call a terrorist on a wheelchair?

C4.

I got in trouble in school today. The teacher said, "I'm gonna call your parents!"

I said, "Let me know when you find them." <3

Say this to your significant other (or your weird friends!)

Are you an unsafe staircase? 'Cause you look like you could use a railing.

Seeing so many balding college students is so sad. Like, why the fuck is your hairline graduating before you?!?

Two friends fighting.

Friend 3: "Cut it out, you two!"

Friend 4: "It wouldn't help if they cut it out... Believe me... I've tried..."

Chef: “How did you enjoy your steak, sir?”

Customer: “I asked for it medium rare, but it’s well done!”

Chef: “Why thank you.”

Customer: “You don’t understand, the steak is well done!”

Chef: “Of course it is, I made it.”

Think about how many more girls we guys could get if we talked to them how we talk to other guys, like when they say, "Can I borrow a pencil?" You say, "You can borrow this hard wood dick."

(Phone call) This is Frank's funeral home and grill, where yesterday's grief is today's beef. How may we help you?

How do you know if your sister's on her period?

Your dad's dick tastes funny.

What's worse than fingering your sister?

Finding your dad's wedding ring inside her.

What do you call an orphan that has a brother? The second one without one.

Did you hear that song about 9/11? It was a real banger!

Have you ever seen the Pokemon called Ryh... Rhydon these nuts?

What do you call a terrible bus company?

Stagecoach Highlands.

If you are going to bully anyone, then bully an orphan, because what are they going to do? Tell their parents?