What do you call California during a forest fire?
Completely normal.
You Jokes
Hey Gwen, listen, I know you're on this app, fake or not. I love you either way. Please find this faker and finish her off for what she's done, real Gwen.
*You're a real best Gwen*
Are you a plane? Because I wanna be in control of you for a few hours.
School Bully: How's your girlfriend? Oh wait, you don't have any!
Me: How's your parents? Oh wait, you don't have any! *Continues to burn down orphanage*
You call him the holy cross. I call it the rejected Smash character.
What do you call a fish without eyes?
A fsh.
Little William punched Little Johnny in the face. Then Little Johnny says, "If you do that again, I'm gonna turn your fucking nuts into coconut juice."
Devil: Hey angel.
Angel: Hi devil, why are you nice?
Devil: What do angels add to their food to make it a little more spicy?
Angel: What?
Devil: Angelpinos!
Woman gets pulled over by a cop.
Cop: "Ma'am, have you been drinking?"
Lady: "No, officer."
Cop: "What's that in your cup then, ma'am?"
Lady: "Just water, officer."
Cop: "Looks like wine to me."
Lady: "Oh my god, Jesus did it again!"
Do you ever consider during the cremation that the meat is well done?
Your mama is so funny looking that when the doctor called her, he said, "Never visit me again. I hope you die!"
You're so fat, when you fall, the sidewalk cracks.
What do you call a blind photographer? A waste of money.
Luckily for you, mirrors can't talk, and luckily for you, they can't laugh either.
Me to an orphan: If you had a penny for everyone who loved you, I don't think you'd have any.
The orphan: But why?
Me: Because if someone loved you, they wouldn't have thrown you out.
"Have you driven through Dealey Plaza? It will blow your mind."
~John F. Kennedy
Babe, I'm breaking up with you.
Why? I'm turning 18 tomorrow.
Your mom and your dad.
What do you call a blonde in the freezer?
Her parents named her Jessica, so we should probably continue to call her that. She was supposed to graduate tomorrow.
I saw a kid sitting on the curb and I asked him, "Are you an orphan?"
He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?" "You're parents did."
