You jokes

Papyrus: Sans! I heard that a HUMAN has fallen!

Sans: And you gotta bone to pick with 'em?

I went home to my girlfriend with milk! She said, "Oh thank you honey!"

Then I got a call from a girl named Melissa. She called and said, "Steven, where the hell have you been? It's been two weeks and you still haven't come back yet?"

What's the difference between jam and jelly?

You can't jelly your dick into someone's asshole.

1+1=3

If you don't use a condom.

People dream about having a lot of money, but the only thing you should be dreaming about is a hairline.

Did you hear the news? Michael Jackson died because he choked on 7-year-old nuts and balls.

How can you tell if a man is straight? You don't have to, he will tell you.

My sister: You were born ugly.

Me: I'm not a mirror, sis.

Why should you abuse the hell out of an orphan? Because what are they gonna do? Tell their mom or dad?

Pro tip kids, you CAN hit an orphan because they can't cry to their parents!

There was a kid being mean to another kid at an orphanage. The kid said, "Stop!" but the mean one said, "What are you going to do? Call your mommy?"

I was gonna tell you a dead baby joke, but I decided to abort it.

These jokes are a little too explosive, if you ask me.

When you tell an orphan, "I did your mom in your home," and they start crying.

Me: You f&*k up.

The class: Oh sh!&

We all know yo homie bout to hop in a fight when:

1. He staring mighty hard at y'all.

2. When your friend know you gon get your ass beat.

3. When your friend say he not gon jump in (you know he lying).

You're so skinny, starving Ethiopians offer you food!

Short girl: "How do you see up there?"

Tall guy: "Who said that?"

I spit my drink out and then ran away.

Ok, so I have a joke for you, go look in the mirror and when you realize, come back to me and tell me.

You're so fat, you only know the letters KFC.

What do you call an orphan that grows to be a priest?

Fatherless.