You jokes
What do you call a turkey when it is scared?
A chicken.
Exercise?
I thought you said "extra fries!"
-A minion (you may now laugh).
God loved you so much that He gave you one face and started clearing off a place for another.
Did you hear about the baseball game between America and Ethiopia?
America - 8
Ethiopia - didn't.
Dude, Mississippi got a better K/D ratio than you.
You never think of how people will react to an event. My friend gets discounts at any store he goes to.
Were you born on the highway? 'Cause that's where most accidents happen.
What do you call a nazi that can’t see?
A nozi.
How can you tell a Pokémon likes baseball?
Every night he turns into a Golbat.
What's worse, being loved or hated? 'Cause when you're loved you could be left alone or be betrayed, but when you're hated no one's there to leave you. What do you think?
Al Fayed’s son arrives at heaven’s gates and sees his driver.
He shouts “you stupid cunt!”
The driver says, “Watch, Boss?”
Dodi replies...:
“I said I WANT TO FUCK DI IN THE TUNNEL NOT FUCKING DIE IN THE TUNNEL!”
I asked what was her favorite type of magic. She said, "the one you make."
WOULD YOU RATHER:
Eat 20 lbs of cow s**t?
or
Drink a gallon of sperm?
What do you call a bee that produces milk? Booby.
You can't call yourself a baby boomer if you have never detonated an infant.
I was in an audition for the lead role of movie "Aquaman." The Director told me to dive into a pool. Then outta nowhere Penaldo showed up and made a big dive into the pool. The director was impressed and selected Penaldo for the movie.
Shame on you Penaldo for destroying my dream!
What do you call a daredevil Weedle who does stunts on a motorcycle?
Weedle Knievel.
Pokemon: Are you a Flareon? Why?
Because you’re a sexy fox.
Pokemon Jokes!
What do you do when your Loudred evolves?
Buy more earplugs!
My teachers told me I'd never amount to much because I procrastinate so much.
I told them, "Just you wait!"