You jokes
Jesus lives on a long timeline, so he may seem slow to you.
You think on a airplane when a muslim guy gets on, people look at him and think... "Aw, fuck."
How do you know the hooker killed herself?
She sniffed the line off the dresser you said not to touch.
Grandma: You guy's generation is on too much technology.
Kid: Well, you're the ones that raised us.
Other family members: ...
What do you call someone who subscribes to Toast4128 on YouTube?
A very good person.
If you go to someone's house and see the flag of the former Soviet Union hanging on the wall,
that's a big red flag!
Are you French? Because I Eiffel for you.
What do you call it when Panera Bread gets painted red?
Panera Red.
What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench?
The NBA because all the black guys are playing.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.
Jack got high and grabbed Jill's thigh and said, "I know you wanna!"
Jill said yes, lifted up her dress, and then they had some fun,
But stupid Jill forgot the pill and now they have a son.
You also have to learn to say no. For example: "Would you like a piece of cake?" "No, I'd like two."
Everything is now so expensive in Africa that witches don’t serve food in dreams again. Am I lying? Okay, when last did you eat in your dreams?
What's the difference between Putin and Hitler? I don’t know, you tell me.
There's this smart way to sneak a calculator into school. I've heard of it. You take the calculator, put it in a gun magazine, put the magazine in the gun, and bring the gun to school!
Alex Stokes says, "Kat, I've seen you eat many foods!"
What do you call an orange parrot? A carrot!
"Me tells dad joke often."
"I want to hear it."
"Me? You wouldn't get it."
A boy walks up to a girl and says, "I would tell you a joke about my dick, but it’s too long."
Then the girl says, "Yeah, I would tell you a joke about my pussy, but you’ll never get it."
What do you call a ruptured Chinese man?
One Hung Lo.
What do you call people from Paris?
Parasites.