You jokes

What do you call Cap and Spider-Man? Spider-America!

Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away?

I'm sure you would run away if your name was kjdhfkuaysbgfbkuejgf.

This Fairy Tail shirt is only $9.99! Guess you can say that's a fair retail.

Did you know cannibals ate KFC?

Kentucky Fried Children.

Rape is not funny!! What if you were the girl/boy getting raped?

If you ever become depressed, try drinking a gallon of water before going to sleep... That'll give you a reason to get up in the morning.

When you kill people in a war, it's perfectly fine, but when it's a school, everyone has a problem with it, wth.

You're so fat, when you went on the scale it said "to be continued."

I know this is a really bad poem, but I'll do it anyway 'cause I have nothing else to do.

'Twas so pretty a night, with people all asleep. Everyone's dreaming of that candy apple treat, and a palace. But alas! No, it's all a dream. Even eating ice cream, it's all a dream! Why can't I have this? Why can't I have that? BUT NO! It's just hitting you like a bat. YOU JUST HAVE TO HAVE IT, you say to yourself. All for me, all for me, and et cetera. It goes on and on. But why wish for riches? You're already rich enough. If you have a device, then take my advise, if you were poor you would have spent the money on food, like honey, not something that... OF ALL THINGS IS GOOGLE!

Like I said, it's really bad. :(

If life gives you melons, you're probably dyslexic.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall?

Depends how hard you throw them.

What do you call 1 normal kid and 2 retarded kids smoking weed?

Pot roast.

What do you call a Mexican that lost his car?

Carlost.

You know what a triangle has that women's rights don't? A point.

Obama, Trump, and Clinton are on the Titanic. The ship hits the iceberg and is going down.

Obama: "This is terrible! We've got to do something -- save the women and children!"

Trump: "Screw the women and children!"

Clinton: "Do you think we have time...?"

What do you do if your online friend wants to commit suicide? You can't do anything, he's already on line.

What do you call a rich Chinese man?

Cha-ching!

How do you know you had a gay cookout?

All the hotdogs taste like ass.

What did the receptionist at the sperm bank say when you were leaving? "Thanks for coming!" 😉😉

When God made Chinese, he said, "DON'T LOOK!" and the Chinese said, "Why?"

And God replied, "You won't want to be fruitful and multiply if you saw where you are putting that thing."

It turned out the Chinese are very obedient to God.

When God made White Man, he said, "NEVER SHUT YOUR EYES!" and the white man said, "Why?"

And God replied, "You need to keep an eye out for the Chinese, one day they will out number you."

It turned out the Chinese are very obedient to God.

Then the white man said, "There is a white genocide!"

And the survivors of the Holocaust said, "All these Europeans killed each other, so a white genocide is accurate. White killed white."

Then the Chinese said, "Thank you, we take your land now."

And the Jews said, "But we are God's chosen people!"

And the Chinese said, "Yes, every time God show up you get bullied! You might want to worship someone else!"

And the Jews said, "Why are you Chinese so lucky, you can't even see, you blind!"

And the Chinese said, "Jesus say be in the world not of the world, so don't go looky looky at the world then."

It turned out the Chinese are very obedient to God.