You jokes

Alcohol

What do you get when you mix alcohol with literature?

Tequila Mockingbird.

Quote

Motivational quote for today: if you think you're dumb, you're probably overestimating your intellectual abilities...

Chicken

My mom was cooking dinner and asked me if I could get her a cutting board.

"No, I need you to take off your shirt and lay on the island so I can cut some chicken."

Memes

Life

Are you getting tired of life? Yes? Then call 180 go fuck yourself.

It's not our problem.com That's 180 go fuck yourself it's not our problem.com

Orphan

Do you know why there is no “f” in “orphan?”

Because it stands for family.

Baby

What do babies and explosives have in common?

They both make a noise when you throw them.

Amputee

A: What did the lawyer say to the amputee?

Q: You haven't got a leg to stand on.

Nut

Did you eat Chef Boyardee's food?

No, why?

Boy are deez nuts so big.

Kid

What do you call a kid with special needs with a gun? Special Forces.

Gay Man

How do you stop all homophobic heterosexual white men from using all public men's restrooms at a rest area?

Make sure that all public men's restrooms at the rest area are always occupied with gay men that have long and thick big cocks, regardless of skin color.

Democrat

You can’t say “dwarf” anymore; you have to say “little people”.

You can’t say “fat”; you have to say “plus size”.

You can’t say “retard”; you have to say “democrat”.