You jokes
What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?
Frostbite.
How do you get a baby out of a blender?
With Doritos!
Knock, knock. Who's there? An armless person. Why? They got stumped on why they contacted you.
Do you know what my favorite time of day is?
6:30, hands down.
Why can't you hear the Pterodactyl go to the bathroom?
Because its pee is silent.
Memes
Did you hear about the guy that went to a nudist colony? The first day was his hardest.
Have you heard about the new cereal?
It's called "Prostituties."
They don't snap, crackle, or pop, but they sure do bang!
🎨🧑🏻🦰 day was that good fun day at home 🏠. I had to the earth and I love it when you get a home and walk walk home from school and walk home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home 🏠. Was your birthday 🎁? I did.
How can you tell a bow n' arrows scared?
He starts to quiver! ;)
Let's get this right. What's the difference between an egg and a wank?
You can beat an egg, but you can't beat...
RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.
Yes, you are the one who can get it, and what time do I have?
What do you do to 7 to make it even? Take off the "s".
"Knock knock!"
"Who's there?"
"Baby!"
"Baby who?"
"Do you want to eat this baby that I have prepared?"
"No thanks, I already ate."
Don't flirt when there is Life Alert!
Edna: Hey there big boy!
Big boy: You need to stop doing this.
What do you call an Asian kid that is bad at math?
An orphan.
F*ck you.
How do you make a hotdog stand? You take away its chair.
What do you call a fat chick with a rape whistle?
Optimistic.
You also have to learn to say no. For example: “Would you like a piece of cake?” - “No, I would like two.”