You jokes
Why can you hit orphans?
Because they can't tell their parents.
What do you call a stupid mannequin?
A dummy.
What do you call emo girls?
Cutting boards.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your daddy is gay, So are you!
He was saying jokes, and someone said, "You are on a roll!"
What do you call a guy at your doorstep with no arms or legs? Matt.
Me: "The villain has a point, you know."
Everyone else watching the WW2 documentary:
Bobby had 54 dicks (54).
He took 33 pills a month (5433).
Once he ran out of pills, he was left with 45 dicks (543345).
(Flip the calculator once you got the full number. 543345! He's got a lot!
What do you call a white bucket?
A pail.
Are you a ghost train? Because I am going to scream when I ride you.
How do you kill Hellen Keller?
Take her on a walk off a cliff.
To whoever stole my antidepressants, why do you need them?
What do you call a student in space?
An astrodent.
In Denver, the members of a Sunday-school class were asked to set down their favorite biblical truths.
One youngster laboriously printed: “Do one to others as others do one to you.” —Lee Olson, The Denver Post
What do you call people from Paris?
Parasites.
What do you call a dude that is always high and gets higher than everyone else in the family? The alpha pothead!
Ever seen twins?
If you said yes, was it before or after 2001?
You know, the strangest things happen. My mom said, "Step on a crack, you break your mama's back, but if you step on a line, you break your father's spine." I stepped on the line. It didn't break his spine. Mom, who is my father?
You know why Santa's saying is "Ho Ho Ho?"
How else is he supposed to give boys and girls a baby brother or sister for Christmas?
What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? A quarter pounder with cheese.