You jokes

I asked what was her favorite type of magic. She said, "the one you make."

Dad: I'm giving all your toys to the orphan kid.

Kid: Why, Dad?

Dad: So you don't get bored.

What do you call a Turk eating turkey?

A cannibal.

What do you call a bee that produces milk? Booby.

You can't call yourself a baby boomer if you have never detonated an infant.

I was in an audition for the lead role of movie "Aquaman." The Director told me to dive into a pool. Then outta nowhere Penaldo showed up and made a big dive into the pool. The director was impressed and selected Penaldo for the movie.

Shame on you Penaldo for destroying my dream!

What do you call a daredevil Weedle who does stunts on a motorcycle?

Weedle Knievel.

My teachers told me I'd never amount to much because I procrastinate so much.

I told them, "Just you wait!"

Pokemon: Are you a Flareon? Why?

Because you’re a sexy fox.

Pokemon Jokes!

What do you do when your Loudred evolves?

Buy more earplugs!

What's worse, being loved or hated? 'Cause when you're loved you could be left alone or be betrayed, but when you're hated no one's there to leave you. What do you think?

What do you get when you goblin with a shark?

My sister thinks she's sooooo smart. She said that the only food that makes you cry is onions, therefore I threw a coconut at her.

What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back?

A stick.

Child abortion is like tax evasion: the more you lose, the less problems you have.

What do you call a dude that is always high and gets higher than everyone else in the family? The alpha pothead!

Ever seen twins?

If you said yes, was it before or after 2001?

You know, the strangest things happen. My mom said, "Step on a crack, you break your mama's back, but if you step on a line, you break your father's spine." I stepped on the line. It didn't break his spine. Mom, who is my father?

You know why Santa's saying is "Ho Ho Ho?"

How else is he supposed to give boys and girls a baby brother or sister for Christmas?

What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? A quarter pounder with cheese.