You jokes
Do you have a sunburn, or are you just always this hot?
Did you hear about the crime in the parking garage? It was wrong on so many levels.
Is it just me, or are you the prettiest person I've seen today?
What do you call the mushy stuff between sharks' teeth?
A slow swimmer...
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Ken.
Ken who?
Can you walk the dog for me?
Memes
How do you make an apple turnover?
You push it down a hill.
My mom told me, "You son of a b!tch." I told her, "I may be a son of a b!ch but at least I am not the bitch." She hated me forever.
Denki: Hey, Mineta, I have a joke for you.
Mineta: Go on.
Denki: Uraraka's booty.
Mineta: I don't get it.
Denki: Exactly.
Mineta: ^cries T_T^
Five little monkeys jumping on a bed.
One fell off and bumped his head. Mamma called Walmart, and Walmart said,
"We will give you a replacement!"
How do you find out about the accomplishments of the former president of the United States James Earl Carter?
Read the label on the jar of Skippy peanut butter.
Why can't you hear the Pterodactyl go to the bathroom?
Because its pee is silent.
When are you from Delaware? You know!!! 📦
Have you heard about the new cereal?
It's called "Prostituties."
They don't snap, crackle, or pop, but they sure do bang!
Do you know what my favorite time of day is?
6:30, hands down.
Let's get this right. What's the difference between an egg and a wank?
You can beat an egg, but you can't beat...
How do you say "nose" in Spanish?
hmm.... No sé.
An action hero stops a man running by throwing a tire at him.
What is his one liner? "I told you to stop running or you will get tired."
Fence 1 was thinking and Fence 2 said, "Are you still on the fence about running away?"
Fence 1 said, "Yeah, I was thinking of running on the RAILROAD."
What do you call an orphan taking a family photo? A selfie.
My dog got mad at me for touching his toy. Do you know what he said?
"Get your paws off!" 💩💩💩