They say making and having friends comes with some benefits. I guess you could say I have friends with benefits.
You Jokes
I ran into a dwarf, and he said, “Well, I’m not happy.”
Me: Then which one are you?
What do you get if you eat sugar?
High.
You were born on the highway. That's where most accidents happen.
Teacher: Great! You’re studying in break time!
Student: Thank you. I heard that it is good to study before sleep.
How do you say "nose" in Spanish?
hmm.... No sé.
What do you call a devil texting you? Travelers on the way. 😈🤣
An action hero stops a man running by throwing a tire at him.
What is his one liner? "I told you to stop running or you will get tired."
What do you call an orphan taking a family photo? A selfie.
Why do emo kids cost so much?
Because they’re the only people you can scan at the checkout machine.
What do you call a religious drug addict?
A crystal methodist.
How do you disrespect an Asian?
Give them driving lessons.
What do you call an anorexic bitch with a yeast infection?
A quarter pounder with cheese.
Q: Do you know why God created yeast infections?
A: So women will know what it's like to live with an irritating cunt, too.
What's the difference between 9/11 and a cow?
You can't milk a cow for over 10 years.
I’m not calling you a slut, I’m calling you a penny.
Two-faced, worthless, and in everyone’s pants!
What do you call a Chinese assassin?
Chinese takeout.
What do you call a nun on a bike?
Virgin Mobile.
God creates dog.
God: "You are man's best friend."
Dog: "That's pretty sexist."
God: "No, man as in- You know what, FUCK IT! You can't speak!"
Dog: "....."
God: "And chocolate kills you!"
Dog: "🐶"
What's the difference between you and an egg?
An egg gets laid.
