You jokes
Did you hear about the guy who was arrested for stealing luggage? Unfortunately, he lost his case.
You’re so fine that my zipper is falling for you.
Don’t have a bike? You can mount me instead.
You must be ice cream because I wanna lick you up.
Are you a keyboard, because I wanna tap you all night long.
What’s one thing you can say during family dinner and in bed?
"Will there be seconds?"
What’s one thing you can say during a wedding and in bed?
I didn’t know we were having seafood tonight!
What's the rarest gun you can find in Africa? A water gun.
Teacher: How much is a gram?
Tyronne: Uhmm, depends on what you need.
A piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner.
"Oh, Bunsen, my flame," the sodium swooned. "I melt whenever I see you!"
The Bunsen burner replied, "Calm down. It's just a phase you're going through."
¡Hola, soy Dora!
Can you help me find the two fucks I'm supposed to give?!
You must be from Pearl Harbor, 'cause baby, you're the bomb!
Did you hear about the fire at Noelle's place?
Her sister is a real Dess-ember!
How can you be fast and slow at the same time, getting a gold medal in the Special Olympics?
Even people who are good for nothing can bring a smile to your face.
For instance, when you push them down the stairs.
How do you stop an argument between two deaf people? Switch off the lights.
What do you call a dog turd in China?
Waste of food.
What do you call a Mexican with one leg?
Border hopper.
Q. What's the best part of living in Alabama?
A. Not having to change your last name when you get married.
What’s the difference between weed and pussy?
If you can smell weed from across the room, it means the weed's good.