You jokes
I once had a patient who wanted to change his species.
I'll tell you, he was unBEARable.
Have you heard about the smart traveler? He's clearly going places.
Me: *looks at person's hand* This guy doesn't have fingers!
Random person with no fingers: Why do you have to point that out?
What do you call a man with no body and no nose?
Nobody knows.
What happens when you get a virus-related sickness? It goes viral on Twitter!
fr tho
My teacher asked what was the worst time you got paddled by your parents. My one friend said that he got in trouble and got whacked by a stick. I raised my hand and said that my dad whacked me with his dick.
What do you call a tall, affluent person? A big success.
What do you call two Latinos playing baseball one on one?
F*ck you.
What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?
Frostbite.
What do you do to 7 to make it even? Take off the "s".
RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.
What do you call an Asian kid that is bad at math?
An orphan.
How do you make a hotdog stand? You take away its chair.
I ran into a dwarf, and he said, “Well, I’m not happy.”
Me: Then which one are you?
What do you call a dinosaur that likes subtraction?
A galiminus.
"Knock knock!"
"Who's there?"
"Baby!"
"Baby who?"
"Do you want to eat this baby that I have prepared?"
"No thanks, I already ate."
Don't flirt when there is Life Alert!
Edna: Hey there big boy!
Big boy: You need to stop doing this.
What do you call a stick with a string on the end of it?
A fishing pole.
I'm 50% human, so that 50% stupid is 100% you.