You jokes

You learn from mistakes!

That's why you're an only child!

* Sans at Sans' favorite restaurant* Sans: Hey, Frisk, what do you eat today?

Frisk: One knife, plz.

Sans: Ok, one knife, plz.

Waiter: You eat a knife?

Frisk: Yes.

*Waiter asking for one knife*

Waiter: Here you go.

Frisk: Thanks you.

You can't lose Kahoot if you "kashoot" the class first.

Braille is not that hard to learn, you just got to have a feel for it.

You should never leave a man hanging.

Unless they are still alive.

What do you call a man with no body and no nose?

Nobody knows.

My teacher asked what was the worst time you got paddled by your parents. My one friend said that he got in trouble and got whacked by a stick. I raised my hand and said that my dad whacked me with his dick.

What happens when you get a virus-related sickness? It goes viral on Twitter!

How do you knockout an unorthodox blue tooth?

You get a good connection.

What do you call a tall, affluent person? A big success.

How do you make a handkerchief dance?

You put a little boogie in it.

Have you heard about the smart traveler? He's clearly going places.

Jace: Haha, I won, dude. You suck at Monopoly!

Timmy: Let's play another game. *GUNSHOT* I guess I won!

Jace: *SCREAMS IN PAIN*

Timmy: What? I thought we were playing Chutes and Ladders!

Me: *looks at person's hand* This guy doesn't have fingers!

Random person with no fingers: Why do you have to point that out?

My dog got mad at me for touching his toy. Do you know what he said?

"Get your paws off!" 💩💩💩

A man went to the doctor, and the doctor said, "What happened to you?"

The man replied and said, "I broke my arm in two places!"

Then the doctor replied with, "DON’T GO BACK TO THOSE TWO PLACES!!"

I once had a patient who wanted to change his species.

I'll tell you, he was unBEARable.

What do you call two Latinos playing baseball one on one?

What did the icicle say to the snow?

"Why do you have to be so soft?"

What do you call a dinosaur that likes subtraction?

A galiminus.