You jokes

What do you call a pool full of handicapped people?

Vegetable soup.

What did the ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, he just WAVED.

Did you SEA what I did there?

GUY: Yes

Are you SHORE?

When you steal the weird pet rock, so he pulls out his pet Glock.

Say "toast" three times. Spell "toast" three times. What do you put in a toaster? The answer?

Three nuns died in a car crash. They went up to heaven at the pearly gates. The gatekeeper said, "This really should not have happened, so I am going to send you back to earth as different people. Tell me who you want to be or look like." The first nun said, "I want to look like Madonna." Puff, you look like her now, but you can’t use her name. And sent her down to earth. The second one said, "I want to look like Marilyn Monroe." He then makes her look like her and sends her down to earth. The third nun said, "I want to look like Sarah Pipalini." The gatekeeper says to her, "Sarah Pipalini, who is that?" She gives the gatekeeper a newspaper article. He reads it, shakes his head no, and says, "It’s not Sarah Pipalini, it's Sahara pipeline laid by 500 men."

What did the Arch bridge say to the Truss bridge?

"I Truss-ted you!"

To the man in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket: you can hide, but you can’t run.

What’s the difference between a mosquito and a blonde girl?

One stops sucking when you smack it.

One day a computer said to another computer, "Why are you so dumb?"

The other computer replied, "Because I have low memory."

Waitress: You wanna box for your leftovers?

Me: No, but I'll arm wrestle you for the bill.

If you ever get bored, tell an orphan to take two days off their calendar. If they ask why, say, "Because you're missing Father's Day and Mother's Day."

Yo mama so fat that when she walked past the TV, you missed 3 episodes of your favorite show.

How do you know your Dad's been fucking your sister?

His dick tastes funny...

Boy: Hey! I love you...

Girl: Eww, you are so ugly.

*boy sent a pic of his dic*

Girl: Beauty doesn't matter in love.

What do you call sex in the World Trade Center?

An inside job.

The greatest bond you will ever have is the one with your conjoined twin.

What do you call a black person swimming?

Cursed Minecraft image.

What do you call a disabled Asian?

"Sum ting wong."

At least if you're fat you don't need to put as much bathwater in the bath.

You don't need a parachute to go skydiving; you need a parachute to go skydiving twice.