You jokes
What do you call a Chinese hooker that won't get on her knees?
Cantonese...
What do you call a skeleton snake?
A rattler!
If you had a dollar for every time someone said you're ugly, you'd meet someone who wouldn't say you're ugly.
Dad, I love you.
Son, I love you.
Me: *Calls friend* "Dude, I just fell off a 50-foot ladder!"
Friend: "Bro, you ok?!"
Me: "Yeah, lucky I only fell off the first step!"
Q: What do you do when your dishwasher stops working?
A: You slap her.
Where can you never take an orphan to dinner?
Family restaurants.
Only Fortnite players will get it.
Where do you get salt water? Salty Springs.
Your momma's so nasty, she sucked your daddy's dick and kissed you good night!
Akeld, just want you to know: Leave me and Gwen alone.
Real me.
What's the worst thing you can say to a widow?
"I'm sorry, I just had to."
Jk: Jimin, why are you so small?
Jm: Excujjimi?
Jk: No offense, Jim.
Jm: Yah, call me hyung!
Jk: But I'm bigger.
Jm: I'm older!
Jk: I'm the top and you're the bottom, so I don't think it's right to call you hyung.
Jm:......
What is the difference between a feminazi and a female prostitute?
If you want the female prostitute to be a bitch, you have to give her money first.
Did you hear Stephen Hawking has a new book out?
It's about time!
Your nana gay, just like you, and you're made of atoms, nerd.
I asked my mom if I was adopted. She said no, "Why the fuck would I adopt you?" and I said "I'm gonna kill myself," and she also said, "Make sure you do it right this time."
Foreplay in may areas: "You awake?"
Way down South: "You awake, mom?"
What's the difference between jam and jelly?
You can't jelly your cock into a girl's mouth.
What do you find in Jeffrey Dahmer's shower?
Heads and shoulders.
Lenda: Hey, can you help me with my homework, please?!
Genda: Okay, and if I do, you won't make a fuss about it!
Lenda: I'll try!
3 mins later.
Genda: THAT IS NOT THE RIGHT ANSWER!
Lenda: Then what is 90 million?
Genda: WHA WHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lenda mocking her: WHA OH YEAH YOU ARE A TERRIBLE TUTOR!!!!!!!!
4 mins later.
Genda: What is the capitol of watchington?
Lenda: Uh.....Idaho!
Genda being sarcastic: Yes...it is not the capitol of watchington...BECAUSE IT IS A STATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lenda: Oh, you mean Iowa!
Genda: UHHHHHHHHHHHH CUSS WORD!!!!!!!!!!
Lenda: U can't help that I'm the smart one...okay sweetie now you go be dumb and I go be smart! LATER SISTER! Oh wait, can you help me with my homework?
Genda: NO! You the smart one so you do it!