Science teacher: How many times can the earth fit into the sun?
Me: As many times as the earth can fit into you.
You Jokes
What's the difference between babies and onions?
You don't cry cutting up babies.
Chris Rock: Jada, I can't wait to see you in G.I. Jane 2!
Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song starts playing:
Will: "I got in one lil' fight about my wife's lost hair, she said, 'Will, if you don't do something I'm gonna have an affair!'" 😂😂😂
Me as a 5-year-old: How do you relate to the Twin Towers?
Friend: What?
Me: Every time I think of them, I feel sad.
What do you get when you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber?
Nothing. You can't cross a vector and a scalar.
What did the floor say to the ceiling?
"I look up to you."
What should you never say to an orphan?
"Your Mom."
I can’t help you find orphan jokes. Maybe ask their family.
How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.
What do you call a stupid pig? A pious.
Me: I'm afraid of random letters.
Therapist: You are?
Me: [screams]
Therapist: Oh, I see.
Me: [screaming intensifies]
What does the woman say to the cannibal at the fashion show?
"Who are you wearing?"
Say "I hop in this:".
I made you eat your peas! 🤦
When you ask your mom for candy but you grab from the wrong drawer...
I'm sorry your dad beat you instead of cancer.
A guy asked me what I do for a living.
Now I'm not old enough to get a job, so I said nothing. He asked me again, so I said, "Your wife!" The guy goes to slap me, but his wife is standing right there. She instead slapped me and said, "You swore not to tell!"
I'm afraid for my gay calendar. Its days are numbered!
Leave a like if you LOL at this joke!
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn’t matter what you call it; it won’t come to you.
If you like funny comments, click the comment section.
Did you hear about the baseball game between America and Ethiopia?
America - 8
Ethiopia - didn't.
