You jokes
What did one cow say to the other? You are mootiful!
What do you call a skeleton snake?
A rattler!
There were four men eating dinner on the Titanic when it hit the iceberg.
The waiter said, "We have to get to the lifeboats!"
The teacher said, "What about the kids?"
The lawyer said, "Fuck the kids."
The priest said, "Do you think we'll have time?"
You could be sitting alone and still be the dumbest person in the room.
Lynx, where the fuck are you? This is Dagger Jr. (Proof in comments).
Your mum, your dad, The things you never had.
What do you call a room full of disabled people with epilepsy?
A seizure salad.
What do you call a flat-chested emo?
A cutting board.
Roses are red, I wish you were dead.
How do you lift a depressed person up?
No need, they'll find a way to get on the tree somehow.
What do you call a rapper who works at the BANK?
Lil Teller.
What do you call a guy that's high in a wheelchair?
A baked potato.
If you thought an inner-city black boy cannot transform into a deranged pale Karen... well, just look at Michael Jackson.
What is the difference between a gay person and a refrigerator?
The refrigerator doesn’t start moaning and groaning when you try to put the meat in.
How do you get a woman to give head? Force it down her throat and hold the back of her head. Make her gag for a little and then pull out. Do this over and over for 30 seconds or so. If she doesn't open up, choke her and force her mouth open.
Woman aren't human anyways... lol.
What is a pirate's favorite letter? You might think it’s the "R," but it’s actually the "C".
What do you call an otter video game that is about robbing?-
Grand Theft Otter!
My friend got a sorry excuse for a new hair style, she says "How do you like my new hair style?"
Me: I think it's a great idea, when are you getting one?
Do you need an ark?
Because I Noah guy!
Hi guys, I am so happy and proud of myself and I thought I should share with you! Today I saw myself on TV when I turned it off.