You jokes
When recycling toilet paper, you really need to process the crap out of it.
Conversely, you can recycle a condom quite easily: just turn it inside out and shake the fuck out of it.
You can't give an orphan homework.
What do you call a cow with 3 legs?
Lean beef!
Joe Rogan to Christopher Doemges: "What can you tell me about musicians of the 18th century?" Doemges: "They're all dead already!"
Hey girl, are you a diamond pick?
'Cause I'm as hard as obsidian.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
911.
911 who?
You said you would never forget.
Jk: Jimin, why are you so small?
Jm: Excujjimi?
Jk: No offense, Jim.
Jm: Yah, call me hyung!
Jk: But I'm bigger.
Jm: I'm older!
Jk: I'm the top and you're the bottom, so I don't think it's right to call you hyung.
Jm:......
You when you face the boss the first time: :)
You when Dark Souls boss music starts playing on the second phase: :(
You when you ask why do you hear boss music: <(
You when the boss goes straight to his final phase after 1 hit:
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What wastes your money as you earn it?
Women.
How do you stop a terrorist from drowning?
Take your foot off his head.
Why should you never throw grandpa's false teeth at a vehicle? You might denture car.
When you still there?
Your mom is so ugly her face would split in half when she sees you.
Wanna hear a joke? You thick.
Timmy Turner: I wish the Vegan Teacher was a cheeseburger.
Wanda: Ok, Timmy.
Timmy: Cosmo, bring her to me!
Cosmo: Here you go, Timmy.
*Timmy eats Miss Kadie*
You know, it takes a lot of balls to successfully compete in women’s sports as a man.
What's the best way to tell your friend you hate them? Option 1: Kill them. Option 2: Walk away. Option 3: Kill each other.
Me: Why can't I just kms and leave them the pain?
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair on fire?
Hot Wheels.
I'm sure you could be the smartest person in your class.
If it were a class for the profoundly retarded.
"There is no way you can fit in there."
"Says who?"
"Your mom."
"When?"
"Last night."
"OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-"