You jokes
What do you get when you cross a vegan and a burger fry-cook?
A shitty plant-based patty.
Fritz Cheng was asked to write three articles on the subject. He went to his grandmother and advised her: "Question: Kill people! I am sorry, Mr. Fritz, I am looking for his brother—what do you suggest?"
Brother: "I'm Superman. I am Superman!"
Fritz remembers entering the room. That's Alfredo's question in front of the TV: "Do you have any advice?"
Fritz tells a story from his school days. "Remember our words?" said Professor Fleck. "An artist? Is that true? Frison, who are you?"
"I am Superman. I'm Superman," he said. "I hope to meet the president."
If you were a fruit, you’d be a ‘fine-apple.’
What did the beat say to the rapper?
"You're off rhythm, but I'll give you a hand!"
What is the difference between a carpet muncher and a female prostitute?
If you want a female prostitute to be a carpet muncher, you have to give her money.
What do you call a rapper who can't afford jewelry?
"UNBLINGABLE"
What does the receptionist at a sperm bank say when you leave?
"Thanks for coming. Hope you come again soon."
What do you call an LGBTQ person getting grilled? LGBBQ.
What did the rapper say to his BROKEN PENCIL?
"You broke the beat!"
Imagine losing your child in WW2 and your son fucking respawns, so you tell him off for not getting enough kills.
Did you hear about the "Funny Doctor"?
He'll have you in "Stitches"!
Why you gay, bruh? I know why I'm gay. I got the wolf pack protectors spirit in me, YA BOIIIII!
"Hey, tie your shoes! I don’t want you falling for anyone else."
What's the difference between a man's wife and his dog?
Lock them both in the trunk for three hours and see which is happy to see you when you open it.
When you fail art school.
"Prince, be honest, do you still love me?"
Person: You can't kill an orphan!
Me: What are they going to do, go tell their parents?
If you are friendly on a game, should I will kill you in the game? You should say, "Will, if you did kill me, I will tell my more friendly to ban you from the game." The friendly should [ask], "What you got?" Friendly on the game [replies], "Jack, you are not my friendly, the all friendly you be ban, if you don't get it, will have fun." If you don't like the text, I am come for you. Ok, now like it, the end.
Little Timmy is hanging out with Rapunzel, and he mentions Hugo and a few other characters from Varian And The Seven Kingdoms, and she responds with, “Who the frick are you talking about? Since I don’t know them, I got a surprise for you!” She wraps him up in Christmas wrapping paper labeled "For Eugene."
What would you name a detective if he didn't already have a name?
Cassie.
Get it?