You jokes
"My dick fell off in the shower!" suddenly a bright flash of white lights. You see God smiling at you. "Joseph, where is your wiener, little one?" He says, chuckling lightly.
What do you call two Mexicans playing ping pong? Juan on Juan.
Your forehead is so big you can smoke a cigar in the rain.
I saw an orphan fall in the street crying, so I ran up to him and said, "Are you okay? Where are your parents?"
What does a construction worker say to another construction worker?
Screw you!
Memes
Why do sisters hate you?
Because you're their favorite stepbrother :P
Are you Paris, 'cause Eiffel for you.
Wow, Gwen even said she loves TJ! She just did!
Prince, look at it. You are going to be crushed. It is in bored jokes and it has 65 comments, look there!
Husband: Hey honey, words can’t describe how beautiful you are.
Wife: Aww, thanks.
Husband: But numbers can. 0 out of 10.
What do you call a Russian pharmacist?
"Ivan Astichestykov."
A man tells his doctor, "Doc, help me. I’m addicted to Twitter!"
The doctor replies, "Sorry, I don’t follow you..."
What happens to grapes when you step on them? They wine.
What do you call a pig who does karate?
Pork chop!
Did you know Hellen Keller had a doll house in her backyard? Neither did she.
Did you hear the gossip about butter? Never mind, I butter not spread it...
How do you keep a moron in suspense?
I'll tell you tomorrow!
What do you call a lady with a pyramid on her head?
mummy
What do you call a smart pig?
A Swinestein.
Did you?
Yo, sis, come here.
Sis: What?
Me: Oh, sorry, you doing school?
Sis: Yup.
Me: Can I go?
Sis: No way, you're going to hug me.
Me: I love you.