You jokes

What's the best comeback for a person calling you an orphan?

Kill their parents.

I asked my friend, "Hey, did you get a haircut?" and she said, "No." Then I'm like, "Really? Then why are you bald today?"

A man walks into a library and asks for books about paranoia.

The librarian whispers, "They're right behind you!"

One day, I saw a kid beating up a fat kid. But a cop came out of nowhere and threw the bully off him. The cop then asked the bully, "Why are you beating him up?" I responded, saying, "I'm fighting obesity; no children should suffer from diabetes and heart disease." Then, the cop pulled out a gun and fired, afterwards saying, "Well, how did I do?"

What do you call a blind German? Someone who can't Nazi!

What do you call an orphan who grows up to become a priest?

Father Les.

Hello, I am Alan Shawn Feinstein. I would like to know who the owner of this website "worstjokesever.com" is.

I am interested in buying this website. Please respond to me in the comments or email me. Thank you, and keep doing good things.

What do you call a white girl that can run faster than her brothers? A redneck virgin.

You can't lose Kahoot if you "kashoot" the class first.

What's the difference between depression and your ex?

Depression fucks you harder.

You (DYM 23).

What’s the difference between depression and your ex?

Depression fucks you harder.

Not all roses are red; Not all violets are blue; If you're reading this, God loves you.

I wish you were a soap, because I want you all over me.

I can't not believe you stupid fucks. This isn't funny. Just like a bunch of cunts not to believe there is nothing can't do.

BTW what do you call a manly woman's cunt? Nothing. Who gives a fuck?

Last week, I was on a plane to Manchester when suddenly the plane was hit by a ball. I wondered where it came from, but I soon realized it was none other than Penaldo practicing his free kicks. Shame on you, Penaldo, for almost killing me!

Taco Bell makes you crappy.

You are so ugly, when you went to a haunted house, you came back with a job application.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?

It depends how hard you throw them.

How do you eat a cake?

With a fork!