You jokes

You're so ugly you make the blind kids cry 😭😭

Yeah man! Life is wonderful! But, when you realize all of the ones you loved were fake.

And when you die, does your online friends notice? How will they notice? Or will they ever notice? Is 13 age too young for dying? Am I just paranoid? I'm scared.

What do you get when you cross a shark and a computer? Computer bytes!

My BFF asked me: "You know why it took Carlos 3 days to move on?"

I said: "Why?"

My BFF says: "Well, it's because he was already cheating!"

I said: "KNEW IT!"

What do you call it when an orphan takes a selfie?

A family portrait.

What do you call a Mexican who's lost his car?

Carlos.

When you suffer from depression and someone tells you to just cheer up, god damn, why didn't I think of that?

What do you call a group of sped kids with AK-47s?

Special forces.

Little Johnny sits on a chair. He notices he is sitting on something. Then he sees a plastic di**. He asks his mom, "What's that?" and Mom didn't know, so when his dad comes home from work, he sees him with the plastic di** and says, "Son, why you messing with my personal toy?"

How do you get an orphan to go to sleep?

Tell them their parents are waiting when they wake up.

I saw a kid on the curb while I was on a walk, and he was in baggy clothes, and I said, "Are you an orphan?" He said, "Yeah." And the orphan said, "What gave me away?" I said, "Ur parents."

A homeless kid walked up to another kid and said, "I have what you don't." He said, "(Parents)."

And the kid said, "Your right, I do have parents," and walked away.

How do you keep a moron in suspense?

I'll tell you tomorrow!

Yo, sis, come here.

Sis: What?

Me: Oh, sorry, you doing school?

Sis: Yup.

Me: Can I go?

Sis: No way, you're going to hug me.

Me: I love you.

How do you help a starving cannibal?

You give him a hand!

Teacher: Little Johnny, why are you late again?

Little Johnny: I had to be there for the birth of our first mixed cow, the white cow fell on the mud! (The teacher faints)

Just letting you know if people cry when they see you, that doesn't mean they miss you. That means they're scared of your onion breath.

When the people that see you cry, that doesn't mean they miss you. That mean they scared of your onion breath! 🐑💨

Q: Why can you be rude to an orphan?

A: Because who are they gonna tell their parents?

An orphan asked if they could move into my house yesterday. I said, "Don't you have a family?"