You jokes
What do you call a rapper who LOVES to cook?
Chef Rhymes.
This joke does not work in print, you have to speak it to someone.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Helen Keller.
Helen Keller who?
(Don't say anything).
Helen Keller who?
...you will get a laugh...ty.
A man was walking home but felt tired, so took a short cut through the cemetery. He then heard a tap, tap, then out of the corner of his eye, he saw a man with a hammer hitting the tombstone. The man said, "You scared me. I thought you were a ghost." The other person mumbled, "They spelled my name wrong."
What do you call an Iraqi who owns a camel and a goat?
Bisexual.
Did you know that the first French fries weren’t cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.
In Egypt, I walked past my twin named Tyler Bungard (you can search his name up) :
A man is depressed and he sighs. A bully says, "Stop sighing, you sound like some guys having a threesome!"
To all those who say this is a joke, it isn't. It's a core of humor and magic. It's a part of humor we can keep. Like if you agree.
You are so fat that the waiter said to you every time: "Sorry for your weight" instead of "Sorry for the wait."
What do you call an Indian in a Lamborghini?
Curry in a hurry.
What do you call mouse sneakers? Squeakers!
Friend 1: How can the skeleton tell it was going to rain?
Me: He could feel it in his bones.
Friend 1: No, he read the forecast, you fucking idiot!
Heheh ;3
Bully says, "You are DISGUSTING!!!!!!"
The girl says, "Just like your face."
I was gonna tell you a sodium joke, but Na, only I thought it was so dium funny.
Tell someone that you're gonna say “I 1 poopoo” and it will go in order of numbers, so they say, “I 2 poopoo” & so on:
You) I 1 poopoo
(Them) I 2 poopoo
(You) I 3 poopoo
(Them) I 4 poopoo
(You) I 5 poopoo
(Them) I 6 poopoo
(You) I 7 poopoo
(Them) I 8 poopoo
And be like, “You ate poopoo??! EWW!!”
How do you put a baby alien to sleep?
You rocket. 🚀🚀🚀
What’s the difference between Jane Doe and a roller coaster?
You can ride both on Ketamine, but only one will get you on the news.
What do you call an orphan?
Homeless.
What is your car you cannot drive? A super flying car!
How to get rid of your depression:
1. Stop self-pitying.
2. Realize you can't.
3. Fucking deal with it.
You're welcome.
The mailman came to drop the mail off.
Me (son): I went and told my mommy that daddy is home.
Mommy tells me, "You got no daddy."
Then I say, "I hear you always call the mailman daddy."