You jokes

Are you an archaeologist? Because I’ve got a bone for you to examine.

What do you call it when two transgender midgets have sex?

And microtransaction.

Roses are red, eggs come in a dozen, do I need to revive Hitler to teach you how to use a goddamn oven?

What do you call an emo kid with light up shoes?

A human chandelier.

What does it mean if you can remember a girl's eye color?

She had small tits.

What do you call a white girl with a yeast infection? A cracker with cheese.

Theory is when you know everything but nothing works.

Practice is when everything works but no one knows why.

In our lab, theory and practice are combined: Nothing works and no one knows why.

Why is bacon called bacon and cookies called cookies if you cook bacon and bake cookies?

Roses are red,

Violets are blue, I’d rather be single than with someone like you.

What do you call it when a drunk cowgirl falls off her stool at the bar?

A hoedown.

What do you call two gay Irishmen?

Patrick Fitz Gerald, and Gerald Fitz Patrick.

What did the elephant say to the naked man?

"How do you breathe through something so small?"

There was this girl on the street that had no arms and no legs. She looked at me and said, “Hey sir, I’ve never been fucked before, will you fuck me?” So I threw her in the ocean and said, “Well, you’re fucked now.”

During a discussion at Sunday school, a nun asks the children what they think God takes you by when you die. A kid responds, "I think God takes you by your feet, because once I walked into my parents' room and my mom's feet were in the air and she was screaming, "Oh God, I'm coming!!!"

You have a six-minute timer to live, but when you breathe, it resets.

A priest walks into a wine store.

"Do you have any 10-year-olds?" Seller: "What the f- Oh, you meant 10-year-old wine." Priest: "I said what I said."

Once a woman suspected that her husband was fucking their daughter at night. So she made a plan. That night, she gave her daughter sleeping pills and told her husband that you go to sleep, I have a headache and I will sleep on the sofa in the drawing room today. After everyone slept, she picked up her sleeping daughter and laid her on the sofa and went to her bed and lay down. After an hour, the door of the room opened and one man entered the room and jumped on the bed and fucked her intensely for 2 hours. Then she turned on the light with the bed switch and said, "You definitely didn't expect me." "I definitely didn't expect you, MOM! But you are more delicious than sister"! Her son replied in surprise!

Three kids one day found a magical slide. There was a sign next to it saying, “Whatever you wish for comes true once you slide down.” One kid stepped up and slid down. He wished for a river of chocolate, thus he swam in a chocolate river.

The second kid slid down and wished for a mountain of money. He then landed in a pile of money. The third kid went down and said, “Weeeeeeee!”

I went for a job interview today and the manager said, "We're looking for someone who is responsible."

"Well, I'm your man," I replied. "In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible."

The way you talk is so slow that they put you in the movie Fast and Furious and changed the title to Slow and Serious!!!😂😂😭

What do you call 2 Indians on a dating website? Connect the dots.