You jokes

What's the same with shoes and slaves?

When they get loose, you tie them up.

Yo mama's so dumb, when a robber stole her TV, she said, "You forgot the remote!"

Expectation: "Brr, I’m cold!" "Here brother! I’ll give you my jacket, I don’t want you to be cold!"

Reality: "Brr, I’m cold!" "Well, damn bro, I can’t control the weather."

you play gatcha life more like go get a life.

Are you a raisin? Because you’re raisin' my dick.

Do you have a shovel? Because I'm digging that ass.

Theory is when you know everything but nothing works.

Practice is when everything works but no one knows why.

In our lab, theory and practice are combined: Nothing works and no one knows why.

What did the elephant say to the naked man?

"How do you breathe through something so small?"

Roses are red,

Violets are blue, I’d rather be single than with someone like you.

The FBI wants to steal my penis. Can I hide it inside you?

I just wanted to say to never let go of family; they are everything. Never let anyone walk all over you. And if you are with me, like this quote.

Next time you see a Brit, go up to them and say:

"Imagine losing a 'Tea Party in Boston.'"

My mom asks, "How did you do this?" Me: "Naw, I did it with a fork. WHAT D'YA THINK?-"

How do you make a pool table laugh? Tickle its balls.

Do you get jealous of your clothes when they hang from the line?

Kid: "Dark humor is like a mother's love."

Orphan: "How?"

Kid: "You wouldn't know."

Orphan: "........."

What do you call Adolf Hitler in a pool? Adolfin.

Q: What do you call a group of transgender women?

A: The X-Men.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have no balls, neither will you. 🔪🔪

My friend was feeling low today, so I went up to her and said, "You know, I would hang in there if I was you, swaying through life." I don't think she likes me now.