You jokes
Q: Do you know why transgender people are good at being carpenters?
A: Because they have more experience cutting off their wood.
What's the same with shoes and slaves?
When they get loose, you tie them up.
An orphan was running down the road. A car pulled up and said, "Get in." So the orphan got in and said, "Where are we going?" The kidnapper said, "I'm taking you to my house." The orphan replied, "OML, ARE YOU ADOPTING ME!?"
Lemme treat you like I treat my homework: slam you on my desk and do you all night.
There was a girl I used to date, only to find out that she used to be a man. You could say, she put me in a trans.
Yo mama's so dumb, when a robber stole her TV, she said, "You forgot the remote!"
Son: Dad, I had sex for the first time.
Dad: Would you like to talk about it?
Son: Sure.
Dad: Sit down and let's talk about it.
Son: I can't, my butt hurts.
Friends: "You wanna hang with us?"
Me: "No, I wanna hang myself."
You learn from the best.
What do you call a homeless Hitler?
A roofless dictator.
You look good with anything, but nothing works too.
The FBI wants to steal my penis. Can I hide it inside you?
Are you a raisin? Because you’re raisin' my dick.
Do you have a shovel? Because I'm digging that ass.
Are you an archaeologist? Because I’ve got a bone for you to examine.
Theory is when you know everything but nothing works.
Practice is when everything works but no one knows why.
In our lab, theory and practice are combined: Nothing works and no one knows why.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue, I’d rather be single than with someone like you.
What did the elephant say to the naked man?
"How do you breathe through something so small?"
Why are there no pharmacies in Africa?
Because you can't have medicine on an empty stomach.
what do you call a flat road named after George Floyd?
Flat neck road.
What do you call two gay Irishmen?
Patrick Fitz Gerald, and Gerald Fitz Patrick.