Roses are red, grass is greener. When I think of you, I play with my wiener.
You Jokes
What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
You can unscrew a light bulb.
What place can you always find suicidal cows at?
"McDonald's."
I know you don't like me, and that implies you need better taste.
I'm not an astronomer, but I'm pretty sure the Earth revolves around the sun... not you.
I'd give you a nasty look, but it seems like you've already got one.
Your birth certificate should be rewritten as a letter of apology.
You haven't changed since the last time I saw you. You really should.
What do you call a 3-sum with a girl with AIDS?
Nut in the butt.
An apple a day can do so much more than keep the doctor away... it can keep ANYONE away.
if you throw it hard enough.
What do you call a boomerang that never comes back?
Daddy.
Say what you will of pedophiles, but you can't ignore their problem with immature ejaculation.
Man to woman: "Would you sleep with me for one million dollars?"
Woman: "Sure."
Man: "How about for ten dollars?"
Woman: "What do you think I am?"
Man: "We’ve already established what you are. All we’re doing is negotiating price."
You wanna know who didn't kick the bucket? Stephen Hawking didn't; nor did he bite the dust.
What do you call a person with Down syndrome in a bathtub?
Vegetable soup.
Serial murderer Ed Gein was famed for raping, killing, and skinning his victims.
When he was asked why he did it, he responded, "You don't know someone until you walk around in their skin."
A child asks his teacher to go to the toilet.
"Before you go, recite the alphabet," the teacher says.
"a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z"
"Good, but where's the p?"
"Running down my leg."
What happened when your parents dropped you off at the orphanage? They got sued for littering.
What do you call emos that live in the Bahamas?
Tropical depressions.
Are you a toaster? Because I want to take a bath with you.
Kid: "Hey, are you an orphan?"
Friend: "Yeah, but you are too."
Kid: "At least my parents wanted me."
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special Forces.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter, he won't come anyway.
If at first you don't succeed,
Maybe Russian Roulette isn't for you.
