You jokes

Did you hear about the magician who did magic with chocolate?

I heard he had loads of Twix up his sleeve.

Next time you see a Brit, go up to them and say:

"Imagine losing a 'Tea Party in Boston.'"

What do you call a kid with Down syndrome on the beach?

A baked potato.

Do you get jealous of your clothes when they hang from the line?

They always say you are what you eat! So I’d be nothing. That sounds about right.

What do you call Adolf Hitler in a pool? Adolfin.

Kid: "Dark humor is like a mother's love."

Orphan: "How?"

Kid: "You wouldn't know."

Orphan: "........."

Friends: "You wanna hang with us?"

Me: "No, I wanna hang myself."

You learn from the best.

Yo mama's so dumb, when a robber stole her TV, she said, "You forgot the remote!"

Expectation: "Brr, I’m cold!" "Here brother! I’ll give you my jacket, I don’t want you to be cold!"

Reality: "Brr, I’m cold!" "Well, damn bro, I can’t control the weather."

Q: What do you call a group of transgender women?

A: The X-Men.

Lemme treat you like I treat my homework: slam you on my desk and do you all night.

How do you make a pool table laugh? Tickle its balls.

Son: Dad, I had sex for the first time.

Dad: Would you like to talk about it?

Son: Sure.

Dad: Sit down and let's talk about it.

Son: I can't, my butt hurts.

Why are there no pharmacies in Africa?

Because you can't have medicine on an empty stomach.

My mom asks, "How did you do this?" Me: "Naw, I did it with a fork. WHAT D'YA THINK?-"

An orphan was running down the road. A car pulled up and said, "Get in." So the orphan got in and said, "Where are we going?" The kidnapper said, "I'm taking you to my house." The orphan replied, "OML, ARE YOU ADOPTING ME!?"

what do you call a flat road named after George Floyd?

Flat neck road.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have no balls, neither will you. 🔪🔪

My friend was feeling low today, so I went up to her and said, "You know, I would hang in there if I was you, swaying through life." I don't think she likes me now.