You jokes
What do you call a burnt retard?
Tomato
When you see your friend, you call the police, but they just moan.
What do you call a black man with a gun? A gangsta.
I got you the candy. Haha! You idiot, it's poison!
We all know the joke: Why is 6 scared of 7? Because 7 8 9.
But do you know why 9 is scared of 7?
Because you are supposed to eat 3 square meals a day (3 squared).
Memes
You're so small you went hand gliding on a Dorito!
"I need help, George Sink," said Jimmy.
"What is it?" said George Sink.
"Can you wash my dishes?" said Jimmy.
You wanna hear a joke? You.
What's the difference between PMS and a terrorist?
You can negotiate with the terrorist.
Hey, did you know that Stephen Hawking predicted the end of the world?
Well, not really. He predicted the end of *his* world.
Me: It smells like good fam.
Friend: What's good fam?
Me: Nothing much, what about you fam?
Read this word:
Heroine.
Did you read it like the drug or like a female superhero?
Who are you?
Yourself.
When you're playing online with your friend, then you hear a kid scream: "No, Dad, please stop!" Scream ends with a gunshot.
Two men are next to each other. One looks at the other and asks, "Are you a fascist?"
The other man responds, "No, why would I be?"
The first man pulls out a gun and says, "Are you sure?"
The second man says, "Never mind, I am a fascist!"
I will give you a nickel if you tickle my nickel pickle, Rick.
Do you like doors?
Yes, because you are adoorable.
What do you get when an American talks to an Aussie and a Kiwi?
Two Aussie.
What’s the difference between a mosquito and a blonde?
The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.
Him: I work with animals all day.
Her: Awwww what do you do?
Him: I'm a pornstar.