You jokes

Home

Why can't you go home tonight? Because you haven't got a home, it's moved.

Prince

"Prince???? Where are you??? I might have to go to bed for real, but I just wish we could talk at night. Why don't we anyway? (I love you so much!)"

Orphan

An orphan was playing with a famous baseball player. The baseball player walks up to him and says, "Dude, I gotta teach you." The orphan goes, "Why? I got all your moves down." The baseball player goes, "But kid, you can never find home, though."

Dick

Boy: Your dick is so small, oh wait, you don't have one.

Older boy: UNO reverse card!

President

What would you call the previous president when he is having a bad day?

Donald Grump.

Memes

Group

Hi, my name is unknown guy! Please comment on the pictures I show you and join my group!

Hate

"Say, Tenya, I heard you say that you hate Gwen. Will [you] join us!"

Sex

Did you know there’s a sex move called Amazon?

You wait all day and nobody comes.

Basketball

Can I make you a basketball cake for dessert?

Yeah, you sure can, but don't be having all your balls in it. It will taste nasty.

Vampire

Every time I come straight home from work, you're in the bed asleep and back there dead like a vampire in a casket.

Then the next thing I noticed, you just came back from the dead in no time, dummy.

Wordplay

God: Why is the teenager so short?

Angel: I don't know.

God: I said, "Strong as a bear!"

Angel: No, you said, "Ass hair."

God: No, I didn't!

Hobo

Zozo the hobo has two frogs and a bunny cage from pet expo. Why? Because he wanted a pet, you idiot!

Dinner

What is a good night's sleep? I love it when you walk home and walk walk home from school. Was your time I had dinner night night? Dinner night, is it fun for me? I o I had dinner.