You jokes

You are so fat you were able to occupy Wall Street all by yourself.

You are so ugly when you gave birth to your baby, you gave it carpet burn.

Did you hear about the blind prostitute?

Well, you got to hand it to her.

What happens if you put your hand in glue? Your hand will stay there forever! I'm joking, hahaha!

What do you call a bottle of water flying over Africa?

A UFO.

You are so ugly, when you went to a haunted house, you came back with a job application.

You're so skinny that your mom had to use a whole shampoo bottle on your head, but she still couldn’t find you.

What do you call when an orphan takes a selfie?

A family photo.

So, there was this kid, and he went to a store and said to a person there, "I'm emo." Then the person told the emo, "Why the hell are you here? Shouldn't you be hanging in a tree somewhere?"

Yo mama so stupid, you could not even be born because of her idioticness.

What do you call a house that isn't a house?

Not a house.

Yo mama so dumb, when I told her my friend was mute she said, “Can't you unmute her?”

You were born so fat they needed two cranes to carry you.

You're so weak, someone breathed on you and you flew away!

Why are you gay?

Because you are.

Friend: Wanna hear a joke?

Orphan Friend: Sure.

Friend: Parents.

Other: I don't get it.

Friend: And you never will.

I was doing a 10km run with my good friend Pessi. As we were setting up our smart watches, the watch voice asked us if we wanted to do a solo run or a group run.

Pessi proceeded to smash both our watches and shout, “I don’t want solo run, I want Penalty!”

Shame on you, Pessi!

You are a fat pig.

What do you call an orphan's family photo?

A self-portrait.

What do you get when you cross between Tailga and emo?

Tailighmo.