You jokes
Sisters before misters.
I hope you get better.
I love you.
Do you think the founder of Dunlop was a retired tree surgeon or a hairdresser?
Me: Can I have your chair? 💺 You: Why? Me: For charity.
You're so skinny, death mistook you for dead.
If being sexy was a crime, you can call me......... a law-abiding citizen.
Memes
Roses are red, I'm off the grid,
John Cena accidentally says "you can't see me" to a blind kid.
Do you remember what Bruce Willis' last movies were?
Neither does he.
When you ask your brother where his hairline is, and he points where it's supposed to be, and you say, "I don't see one there."
What's the difference between me and you?
Nothing, the fudge you expected ni-
What do you call a gay emo kid?
Fruit Ninja.
What do you call an orphan you put into a volcano with a wheelchair?
Hot Wheels.
When you see someone, you say, "Go suck bananas."
What do you call the middle of a penny?
A center (get it? Cent-er).
You're so fat you sunk Captain Crunch's ship.
You're so fat your blood type is Nutella.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Fuck you, that's why.
What do you call Josh in a room...
Gay.
How do you help a rape victim on a diet lose 7 pounds?
Kill her afterwards.
What do you call a kid with no home?
A homeless kid.
What do you get when you mix a white guy and a fire?
A firecracker.
Roses are red, violets are blue, at the end of the day, you're gay.