You jokes

What do you call a club that owls go to?

Hooters.

What is the difference between a baby and a trampoline?

You take your shoes off to jump on one.

What do you call a bull sleeping?

A bull-dozer.

How do you get ten babies in a bowl?

A blender.

How do you get them out?

Doritos.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall?

Depends on how hard you throw them.

What do you call a cow you can’t see?

Camooflauged.

I saw a man today wearing a t-shirt that said "I'm with stupid."

I told him, "You know, that's not very nice."

He looked at me and said, "I'm with stupid, too."

Wow, paint can, you have such a colorful personality!

Mr. Nobody: Water you thinkin's happenin', Ol' Mr. Atlantic?

Mr. Atlantic: Something Smells Fishy...

Mr. Nobody: Well, duh, you idiot! You're an Ocean!

Mr. Atlantic: WTH!?!?????

Steven Hawking's death, you should've gotten a case.

You know why seven ate nine? Because 7, 8, 9.

Where are you right now?

Looking at a fake joke? You are a waste of time and space.

What do you call a thicc boy... big boi?

Mom, I’m pregnant.

Are you drunk? Why? Because you’re boy.

Why do you pay cash for the metro train in Newcastle upon Tyne?

What do you call a baby in the crib?

Boys and girls watch Monsters, Inc.

If you ever get bored, just punch an orphan in the face. What's he going to do? Tell his parents?

"I really hate cats," my friend replied with, "You gotta be kitten me."

We never saw him again.

How do you spot an English man in Quebec?

A square head.

Man: Could you hold this for me?

Kid: Ok mister! I love playing with a pew pew! Pow! Pew! Pew! Bang! *GUNSHOT*

Man: Dammit, now who am I gonna put in the van?!