You jokes
Mom: I apologize, Sam, for being so mean to you. <3
Sam: Thank you, Mother, for your apology.
Mom: jk
In life you either yeet or get yeeted, or you beat or get beaten.
I guess I failed.
If you had a friend like me, would you kill me?
What do you call Stephen Hawking going fast?
Hot Wheels.
Jack and his kids went to the lake, and his mother wants him to go swimming. You know what he says? "Back where you came from!"
Memes
How do you get "Dick" from Richard?
Ask him nicely.
There's nothing stronger than love, except for an M32 Rotary Grenade Launcher because fuck you and everyone near you.
Guys, you need to ketchup with the time.
The longer the relationship, the longer the breakup will hurt you. Better break up now ooo.🤣
Don't commit suicide, that stuff kills you.
When you went to McDonald's and sat down, you were so fat, they said, "TBC."
For the encore, we'd love to tell you a construction joke but... we're still working on it.
What do you call someone who is half a Jew?
Jew-ish.
Do you love God?
Thank you, anonymous user, for helping me with math a few months ago.
Now I got a 31 on the ACT.
What do you call an orphan with a gun?
(No) home shooter.
You know I wish life was shorter?
I want it over.
Falco: Dreaming of a day when I don’t hear people say I’m a knockoff Fox, knockoff Fox.
Fox: Dreaming of a day when you die in a fire and I get all your aerial skills.
Falco: Wat...
What do you call a dick?
Suck my dick!
I have a friend of mine from school. I always see them with bangs, so I never knew what their forehead looked like until one day they came... Their forehead was bigger than Mount Everest, that you can make an entire Olympics mountain climbing audition on that forehead! :)