You jokes

You're so small you went hand gliding on a Dorito!

"I need help, George Sink," said Jimmy.

"What is it?" said George Sink.

"Can you wash my dishes?" said Jimmy.

You wanna hear a joke? You.

What's the difference between PMS and a terrorist?

You can negotiate with the terrorist.

Hey, did you know that Stephen Hawking predicted the end of the world?

Well, not really. He predicted the end of *his* world.

Me: It smells like good fam.

Friend: What's good fam?

Me: Nothing much, what about you fam?

Read this word:

Heroine.

Did you read it like the drug or like a female superhero?

Who are you?

Yourself.

When you're playing online with your friend, then you hear a kid scream: "No, Dad, please stop!" Scream ends with a gunshot.

Two men are next to each other. One looks at the other and asks, "Are you a fascist?"

The other man responds, "No, why would I be?"

The first man pulls out a gun and says, "Are you sure?"

The second man says, "Never mind, I am a fascist!"

I will give you a nickel if you tickle my nickel pickle, Rick.

Do you like doors?

Yes, because you are adoorable.

What do you get when an American talks to an Aussie and a Kiwi?

Two Aussie.

What’s the difference between a mosquito and a blonde?

The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.

Him: I work with animals all day.

Her: Awwww what do you do?

Him: I'm a pornstar.

If you swallow gum, it will make your poop bouncy.

What do you call a movie with Arnold Schwarzenegger and Bill Cosby?

Predator.

How do you prevent a physics teacher from drowning? Shoot her before she touches the water.

One day I was at school, and this girl had the nerve. She told me to go to the back of the line. I was looking behind me, and she said, "What are you looking for?" I said, "To who [are] you talking to, boo boo?" Like, is you you my momma?

You're so fat when you walk into the mall, you *are* the mall.