You jokes
What do you call a communist?
Braxton.
U were accidental.
Why do people have sex?
Because they like going "Ahhhhhhhhhhh fuck me, bitch, I love you!"
I can't handle these puns...
But I can HAND you some puns!
Budum tiss!
Q: What do a prostitute and a vacuum have in common?
A: If they stop sucking, you can smack them until they start again.
What's one thing that you can say about a train, but not your girlfriend?
Q. What do you say when your friend has an abortion?
A. May your baby rest in pieces.
For the encore, we'd love to tell you a construction joke but... we're still working on it.
Do you love God?
Do you want to be in Heaven with Jesus, our savior, or be on Earth with bad things?
Thank you, anonymous user, for helping me with math a few months ago.
Now I got a 31 on the ACT.
What do you call an orphan with a gun?
(No) home shooter.
Q. What do you call a biracial kid in a vegetative state?
A. A mixed vegetable.
What do you call a fight at a dementia unit?
A Sundown Smackdown.
An Abo walks into a pub with a seagull on his shoulder. The barman asks, "Where did you find that?" The seagull replied, "At the tip, mate, there are lots there."
What do you call a closet with two lesbians inside?
A liquor cabinet.
I'm okay with giving babies iPads, as long as the baby has anencephaly.
You can't get brain rot if you don't have a brain!
A kindergarten teacher asks her students, "Do you know any words that start with P?"
Little Timmy responds with, "Elmo."
Q. What do you call a rich person who is in a vegetative state?
A. A loaded potato.
Did you hear about the bull who went on a shooting rampage?
I guess he was a little deranged.