Why is it that if you donate a kidney, people love you? But if you donate five kidneys, they call the police.
You Jokes
What do you call it when a snowman throws a tantrum?
A meltdown.
So I didn't want my mom going through my laptop, so I put a touch screen on it where you just have to tap the screen to unlock it. Jokes on her, she doesn't have any fingers.
If you're going to be a smart ass, you have to be smart, or you're just an ass.
What do you call a vegan slut?
A garden ho!
Are you a bowling ball? Because I want to stick 3 fingers in you.
What does a penis and a Rubik's cube have in common?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
What do you call an avocado that got shot? Glockamole.
How do you give a redneck a circumcision? Kick his sister in the jaw.
How do you make an emo jump?
A cliff.
F is for friends who don't talk to you.
U is for Ur alone.
N is for never having any plans at all, all you do is sit at home.
What do you call a Mexican under a carpet? Underlay, underlay.
What do you call an Afghan in the bath? A bath bomb.
What did the rope say to my depressed ass?
~ Hey, you wanna hang?
What do you get when a cow doesn't give any more milk?
A milk dud 😂
There was always that one specific person you thought ruined your life, but it turns out your life has always been ruined by you being in it.
You gotta give it to JD Vance. He is consistent; he is Putin his dick where it don't belong!
Well, somebody has to cushion the blow.
Dad: "Son, does mommy like having lady-friends over?"
Son: "Nah, mostly men."
Dad: "Do you think you'd be comfortable telling that to a judge in court?"
Q: How do you know a wishing well works?
A: If your mother-in-law falls down it.
What do you call an hourglass with no sand in it?
A waist of time.
