You jokes

Why do you call a man that is physically handicapped and German?

A physically handicapped bisexual man that is promiscuous and German.

You want to hear a dirty joke? Jonny played in the mud. You want to hear a clean joke? Jonny took a bath with bubbles. You want to hear a dirty joke? Bubbles was the next door neighbor.

A guy starts chatting to a pretty woman at a party.

Seeing that she didn't back off, he asked her name. "Carmen," she replied. "That's a nice name," he said, warming up the conversation. "Who named you, your mother?"

"No, I named myself," she answered.

"Oh, that's interesting. Why Carmen?"

"Because I like cars, and I like men," she said, looking directly into his eyes. "So what's your name?" she asked.

‘BJ Titsngolf’

A blind guy walks into a bar with his seeing eye dog. He then picks his dog up by the tail and starts to swing him around. The bartender asks him, "Hey man, what the hell you doing?"

Blind guy says, "Just looking around."

A kid is watching TV and sees an ad about adopting an animal. He then turns to his mother and says, “Do we have to adopt a donkey?” “No,” replied the mom, “but we decided to do it... we adopted you.”

If you are American in the living room, what are you in the bathroom?

Euro-peein'.

I was in a public bathroom in a handicap stall, and when I got out, a handicapped man told me that I was an a**hole. I told him, "Bet you won't stand up and say that to my face," and then he broke down.

Where do you buy a dishwasher?

Hot singles in your area.

What type of people think rape jokes are funny?

Only the coolest people in the world! I fucking love you guys 😂

It isn't really rape if you speak different languages. I mean, how is the man supposed to know what she is saying? Those could be tears of joy and screams of pleasure.

I only remember my father's last words before he died. He said, "Are you still holding the ladder?"

You're so poor you wash paper plates.

What do you get when you mix up a group of emos?

Suicide squad.

Jesus walks into a motel, throws 3 nails on the counter, and says, "Can you put me up for a night?"

Did you hear about the ninja pedophile? No one saw him coming.

How do you verify a rape claim? You make it true, and then the person is a victim for sure.

Father: "That's great, son. Who is she?"

Son: "It's Tina, the neighbor's daughter."

Father: "Ohhh, I wish you hadn't said that. I have to tell you something, son, but you must promise not to tell your mother. Tina is actually your sister."

The boy is naturally bummed out, but a couple of months later:

Son: "Daddy, I fell in love again, and she is even hotter!"

Father: "That's great, son. Who is she?"

Son: "It's Peny, the other neighbor's daughter."

Father: "Ohhhh, I wish you hadn't said that. Peny is also your sister."

This went on a couple of times, and the son was so mad, he went straight to his mother crying.

Son: "Mum, I am so mad at Dad! I fell in love with six girls, but I can't date any of them because Daddy is their father!"

The mother hugs him affectionately and says:

"My love, you can date whoever you want. Don't listen to him. He is not your father!"

What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer!

Monkey Man's mortuary, you stab 'em, we slab 'em.

If you faked the moon mission, don't apollo-gize.