You jokes
What do you call Shroud when he is hurt?
ShrOWd.
Guess what, Shroud is back on wje, I don't know why, but he is...
To Mr. Nice Guy, you are nice, sweet, and caring! I am so grateful to be your friend!
How do you kill a sheep?
You lamb shank it!
I'm upset, but when I saw you, you never let me down.
I robbed a person in a wheelchair. He cried and said: "You can run, but you can't hide." I ran, and I never saw him again.
"Did you hear the rumor about butter? Well, I'm not going to spread it!"
What do you call a bunch of microcephalics in a swimming pool?
Vegetable soup.
Uranus is a cow, You may be wondering, how?
Uranus farts methane, And cows do the same.
I told some orphan that you can see your family, but I meant Spider-Man: Homecoming...
Did you know the "f" in "orphan" stands for family?
Kid: There is no "f" in "orphan."
There is no family.
What does a nun say when you ask too many questions?
"Nunya business!"
What do you call a Chinese person with 1 leg? Tie Son Whu.
What do you call an orphan's family photo?
A selfie.
What do you call a dog that's faced backwards?
A god.
Have you heard the gossip about the butter? Oh, I guess I better not spread it.
Did you know Disney is making a movie for suicidal people?
They're calling it Finding Emo.
What do you call a disabled person in a fire?
"HOT WHEELS!"
Roses are red, violets are blue.
My heart is dead because of you.
Actually, not because of you... because of your face.
It was the final examination for an introductory English course at the UW. Like many such freshman courses, it was designed to weed out new students, having over 800 students in the class! The examination was two hours long, and exam booklets were provided. The professor was very strict and told the class that any exam that was not on his desk in exactly two hours would not be accepted and the student would fail.
1/2 hour into the exam, a student came rushing in and asked the professor for an exam booklet.
"You’re not going to have time to finish this," the professor said, as he handed the student a booklet.
"Yes, I will," replied the student. He then took a seat and began writing.
After two hours, the professor called for the exams, and the students filed up and handed them in. All except the late student, who continued writing.
1/2 hour later, the last student came up to the professor who was sitting at his desk preparing for his next class. He attempted to put his exam on the stack of exam booklets already there.
"No, you don’t, I’m not going to accept that. It’s late." The student looked incredulous and angry. "Do you know who I am?"
"No, as a matter of fact, I don’t," replied the professor with an air of sarcasm in his voice.
"Do you know who I am?" the student asked again. "No, and I don’t care," replied the professor with an air of superiority.
"Good," replied the student, who quickly lifted the stack of completed exams, stuffed his in the middle, and ran out of the room.
Did you hear about that cheese factory that exploded in France?
There was nothing left but de Brie!