You jokes
"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "You're." "You're who?" "You're parents left you."
Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers?
He'll stop at nothing to avoid them.
What do you call a wheelchair kid that is on fire?
Hot Wheels.
Roses are red, violets are blue, it's really no wonder your mama left you!
Why does Africa have no pharmacies? Because you can't have medicine on an empty stomach.
Friend, you're bold and fat.
Me: Bro, go to the bathroom and look at the mirror. You will probably break it.
What do you call an orphan village?
An orphanage.
What do you call an unemployed Rastafarian?
Jah Bless.
A teacher walked up to me and said, "How did we get butt cracks?"
I was like 4, so I said, "You had an earthquake on your booty."
Bootylicious lol
My wife said, "Why oh why have you ordered carpet, our house is lovely?"
Thankfully the carpet was put to good use in the end, no more stupid comments coming from a rolled up Emily in the bottom of the ocean!
An orphan goes to a family restaurant with her doll.
"I'm sorry but you can't be here," said the man. "This is a family restaurant." The orphan said, "This is my family," then pointed to her doll.
A man was almost about to drown. A boat said, "Do you need help?" And he said no.
After the boat left, another boat came to the sea, and they asked if he needed help, and he said no.
And he asked God, "Why didn't you help me?"
God said, "I sent you two big boats, you dummy!"
My mom told me to clean the sink, but I couldn’t find you.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special forces.
America is filled with MAYO MONKEYS (you could make a mayo sandwich!).
I don't shut up, I grow up, and when I see you, I throw up.
What did the feather say to his wife?
You light my day.
What do you call a hungry person?
African.
Like if you are emo.
My friend's 4-year-old daughter made up this joke.
What kind of poo should you put in your hair?
Shampoo.