You jokes
I'm lonely, but all I have is my cheeseburger, but what is the matter of living if you only have one thing?
But a cheeseburger is all you need 'cause it has 1,000,000,000,000 bucks man, so I can't just take it and spend it wherever I want.
You have Chinged your last Chong.
The waiter asked me, "How would you like your steak?"
I replied, "As soon as possible!"
Two gay men walk into a bar. One of them turned to the other and said, "Hey, what do you say we get out of here?"
What happens when you throw water on Stephen Hawking?
He says, "Oh fuck fuck fuck!"
Memes
How do you make holy water?
You take it to church ⛪️
What do you call a fish with no legs?
Fsh have no legs.
What do you do with legs?
Fsh have no legs.
What do you do with legs?
Break!
Imperial Pilot: What do you think about the new Tie fighter?
Palpatine: Flew it.
Did you hear about the guy who made the knock-knock joke? I heard he got the Nobel Prize.
What goes in soft and comes out hard?
Gum, you whore!
I'm supposed to put a joke here.
But I can't find a mirror...can you find one yourself?
I'm sure you'll laugh.
Superman has been called to a huge house fire.
Superman: "There you are ma'am, everyone out and all safe!"
Mother: "But my children are still inside! You need to go back an--"
Superman: "Ah fuck'em..."
You guys are idiots!
A friend of mine chews gum, lays back to yawn, then chokes on the gum. Then I said, "God, what, you choking on dick?"
What do you sing on a dead person's birthday?
"Happy Death-Day To You!"
It's okay to tell a Stephen Hawking joke if there are stairs in your house he can't get to you. Plus, he shut himself down, so it's all good :)
Read this:
Crack
What did you think of? A window crack or the drug?
Bully: You are a piece of shit.
Person: No, I'm not a piece, and I'm not brown... so no, honey.
What do you call two bears jerking each other off?
Bipolar.
"Fucking cracker and you smell like fish!"