You jokes
Stephen Hawking drove too far from the wall and unplugged.
He also forgot to pay the power bill.
If you replaced the boss in Portal with a boy, you would hear Stephen Hawking.
A man walks into a bar and sees a piece of steak on the ceiling.
The cashier says, "If you can grab it, your meal's free!"
The man then said, "Nah, the stakes are too high."
What do you call my dick?
A. A monster.
What time is it when you get home, can you walk walk home, and walk walk home from school today? And...
What time is it when you say no to everything? Time to get bored.
What time is it when you stand on a pile of money in the bank?
High interest!
What time is it when you get home and you can't walk home?
What do you call the worst joke teller of all time?
Ben or Chris?
You other brothers can’t deny that she’s fly.
A neutron walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "How much for a drink?"
The bartender responds, "For you, no charge."
You are so small that you play hockey against the curb!
Read this:
Crack
What did you think of? A window crack or the drug?
Bully: You are a piece of shit.
Person: No, I'm not a piece, and I'm not brown... so no, honey.
What time is it when you get mad 😡 at school? Time to calm down.
If you're Canadian in the kitchen, then what are you in the bathroom?
European.
"Fucking cracker and you smell like fish!"
What do you call butter without an expiration date?
A miracle butter, because wow!
Dad: What's the difference between an ELEPHANT and a POSTBOX?
Son: I don't know.
Dad: I'd better not trust you with my post then.
Best part about being an orphan?
Not spending 1h30 at the table every night with your dad yelling, "What's 2*3?!!" And you crying, "I don't know!!!"
What day can you have sex on?
Answer: Wednesday. Why? Because it's hump day.