You jokes
I don't shut up, I grow up, and when I see you, I throw up.
My friend's 4-year-old daughter made up this joke.
What kind of poo should you put in your hair?
Shampoo.
What is a part of a vegetable you can't eat?
The wheelchair.
Have you heard about the kidnapping at the goat farm?
This joke is kinda offensive, but here you go.
Whatβs the longest joke of the year? Pride month.
Memes
Were you born on a highway? Because that is where most mistakes happen.
A: Do you eat food?
B: Yes...
A: You can sit on deez nuts then!
B: Omg I have depression now.
What do you call my dick?
A. A monster.
If you're Canadian in the kitchen, then what are you in the bathroom?
European.
Why does your mom hate you?
Because you are a loser.
What does a wife and a boombox have in common?
They only work when you beat them.
Doctor: Tomorrow is like John Cena, you wonβt see it.
What does a kid say to an orphan, "Where are your parents?"\n\n"I donβt have parents. Where are yours? Are you an orphan like me? I hope not!"
What do you call an orphan with a selfie?
A family portrait.
I will give you all the fine chicks you want. Just dial this number: 313-974- tap that ass from Hooters strip club.
Why did the lion say, "I'm faster than you," to the cheetah?
Because it was Halloween!
Stick your head up someone's butt. What do you get? A Butthead!
"Get your butt out of my face!"
"Then get your face out of my butt!!!"
If you believe in Allah, you will go straight to heaven, Mashallah! π
How to tell your kid is adopted? Hi Daisy, let's play a game called "You're adopted!" I will start: Your mum died so I had to adopt you, but don't think I love you because you were the only kid there, haha!
You get a deep voice, you shit talk to 5 year olds.