You jokes
What does a wife and a boombox have in common?
They only work when you beat them.
You have Chinged your last Chong.
The waiter asked me, "How would you like your steak?"
I replied, "As soon as possible!"
Two gay men walk into a bar. One of them turned to the other and said, "Hey, what do you say we get out of here?"
Dad: What's the difference between an ELEPHANT and a POSTBOX?
Son: I don't know.
Dad: I'd better not trust you with my post then.
Best part about being an orphan?
Not spending 1h30 at the table every night with your dad yelling, "What's 2*3?!!" And you crying, "I don't know!!!"
What do you call butter without an expiration date?
A miracle butter, because wow!
Why did the lion say, "I'm faster than you," to the cheetah?
Because it was Halloween!
Want to know something good about people giving ZERO fucks about you and living in the country?
Everybody knows nothing.
Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer you get to the end, the faster it goes, and everyone is trying to shit on ya.
What do screen doors and blondes have in common?
The more you bang them, the looser they get.
Stick your head up someone's butt. What do you get? A Butthead!
"Get your butt out of my face!"
"Then get your face out of my butt!!!"
How to tell your kid is adopted? Hi Daisy, let's play a game called "You're adopted!" I will start: Your mum died so I had to adopt you, but don't think I love you because you were the only kid there, haha!
You get a deep voice, you shit talk to 5 year olds.
What day can you have sex on?
Answer: Wednesday. Why? Because it's hump day.
Man: Oi, dude, why did you shoot the orphans!?
Other man: Because.
Man: Because why!?
Other man: Because who are they gonna tell? Their parents?
Me: *writes Kahoot about me then finishes.*
Me and friend: *plays Kahoot.*
A question: When is (my name) happy?
Friend: *puts a good answer and gets wrong.*
Answer: Never, only a portion.
Friend: Do you need help?
Why can’t you yell at a kid?
Because the cops are after you.
If you believe in Allah, you will go straight to heaven, Mashallah! 😍
Why did the number 10 make friends with 0? Because you have $100 dollars.