You Jokes

I hope you have to dip your Oreos in water because your dad never came back with the milk.

Whoever has my voodoo doll, can you just finish me off already?

Sad news, my obese parrot died today.

Mind you, it's a huge weight off my shoulders.

Don’t have sex. Because you will get pregnant. And die.

Friend: What are you doing?

Me: Putting peanut butter on my balls.

Friend hears in the distance, "Orphans, I have food for you!"

Hi guys, jokes for sister.

So I was listening to a song about "I hate you, are annoying, sister. I'm small and I'm smart," and when I showed it to her, she killed me, and later I was dancing and crying.

What do you call a garage that is gay?

A gyarge.

When you are bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Call their parents?

Can you imagine The Count from Sesame Street having sex? "1 orgasm..., 2 orgasm..., 3 orgasm..., ah ah ah!"

When you’re in India and you start hearing a tick, tick, tick, tick, you run!

You should bully orphans. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?

Thanks for the birthday wishes. It's been an odd one this year, as some of you know, my father suddenly passed away on my birthday last year, and anyone who knew the old man knew he had a sledgehammer wit!

Good on ya dad, ya definitely got the last laugh!

What is 8 divided by 2?

Answer: 3 (you cut 8 in half).

Did you hear Biden went to the ER?

He's having a little trouble with his Putin.

The 🦅 asked the female eagle, "What did you eat?"

"I ate New York hot dogs."

Just a pickup line.

"Ayo, bbg, are you Maria? 'Cause you can sure as hell count ME in."

What happens when you work in the Twin Towers? It connects to airplane WiFi.

Can you guys comment on my nuts jokes (aka Willma, Bofa, and Savor)? I just want to see if people don't think it's funny.

Hey guys, sorry to bother you but search "Izzy" on the search thingy on the website, thank you!

What do you say to an emo with a new haircut?

"Nice cut, G."