You jokes

How many people do you think are in a graveyard? Hopefully none.

How do you know someone is autistic?

They get stuck in a loop very often.

I invented a time-traveling machine and traveled back to Pangea. I warned the dinosaurs about the deadly asteroid. They told me, "It wasn't an asteroid... it was Pionel Pessi's penalty ball ricocheted from Mars that made them extinct." Tears ran down my face. Shame on you, Pessi!

Want to hear an abortion joke, or any joke for that matter? You have that option, and you can thank your mother for that.

But that's a question that will never be heard by an aborted unborn baby, whose only option was death. And that's no joke.

What do you call a simp, Adrian?

What do you call a skeleton's erection?

A boner.

You're so retarded, if there was a clone of you that was supposed to be smart, it would still be retarded.

What does Jeffrey tell his white teens?

You want to take it orally or through anal? Joke, I'm not asking.

How do you start a rave in Ethiopia?

You put food on the ceiling and they start jumping.

Like if you don't have a dad.

What do you call a person with no arms?

Armless.

Me: Hi, my name is...

Bro: Hey guys! So who are you?

Me: Hey, stop dude!

Bro: How is it going, bro--

Me: SHUT UP!

Bro: Is that a gun?

Me: *Pointing at bro*

Bro: Dude, I'm...

Me: *BANG* *BANG*

Me: Finally, it's over.

What hype is this place out? Is it for the night? You cannot say what is a great night. I have a good night.

You're so fat, Thanos had to snap three times to destroy you.

Roses are red, the grass is greener,

Every time I think of you, I play with my weenie.

What do you call a duck with no head?

Your mom gay.

Wife: Hi babe. Husband: Hey. Wife: Do you wanna? Husband: YES! Wife: Ok, make sure you have a towel to go to the beach. Husband: WHAT? You mean go to the beach? Wife: Yes, what did you think I meant? Husband: Oh, nothing, bye. Wife: Bye, see you there.

If you give a prostitute money, you will go to jail, but if you give a prostitute a Klondike bar, you will not go to jail. I would rather go to the casino and get more money for my buck.

What does a blowjob from an 80-year-old and bungee jumps have in common?

You feel the rush, but don't look down.

What do you call a weak, beta, tall and dumb kid? A banana.

But if you're vegan, you call him food.

If you're poor, you eat the skin.