You jokes

How can you make a orphans hand bleed?

Real them to clap until there parent come home.

Whenever you think back to 9/11 and realize there are 12 hours in front of us, why the f*ck didn't they warn us?

Hey, guess what I got for my birthday.

No, what did you get? Older.

You are in the airway, how funny!

What do you put on a cheeseburger? It's a wrap!

Police: Hey man, look at this! *throws cocaine at fan and it flew back into his face* Me: Are you okay? Police: Looks like I "crack"ed the case.

The thing about animals is every time you pick one up, you have to put it down.

How do you make a tissue dance?

Put a boogie in it!

I would tell you a good joke, but I can’t, so here is a bad one.

I would tell you a joke about a teacher, but she’d kill you at school.

"How would you describe a really bad skeleton?"

"Bad to the bone!" (Or "Rotten to the bone" if you want.)

What do you call a rapper who LOVES to cook?

Lil' Saucy

Some people are such "treasures" that you just want to bury them.

Me: *reading a sign* "Children are a gift from god."

Me: "No, they are a gift from the underworld."

Mother: "Yeah, I picked you up at the gift shop on my way out."

Mother: "You are a spawn of Satan."

I'm what they call a ✨️askhole✨️.

A person who will consistently ask for your advice and wisdom, but then proceed to do the exact opposite of what you say.

How do you find a rapper in a snowstorm?

Look for the one with the "ICE-COLD RHYMES."

What do you call a group of rappers waiting in line?

A rhyme queue.

How can you tell what kind of emo you are?

By how deep the cuts are on your forearm.

Q. Who do you call when a baby with anencephaly is born? A. The funeral home.

What happens to an Indian's doorbell when you ring it?

A ring-a-ding-a-ding.

My sister looks like Santa Claus.

"You are so pretty?"

"No, too many people!"