You jokes

Town

What do you call it when a town on the south coast of England sprouts legs and starts walking around the country?

A walkie-Torquay.

Sex

The first time I EVER HAD SEX I WAS ALL ALONE. You know why?

IT WAS DARK and I WAS ALL ALONE!

Memes

Orphan

If you're ever bored, beat up an orphan, what are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

Woman

How can you tell if a Polish woman is on the rag? One of her socks is missing!

What danger does this put them in? Toxic Sock Syndrome!

Creeper

Dad: What do you call a crazy creeper?

Mom: Shit, I don't know...

Kid: Crrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

Dad: That's my boy's!!!

Dyslexia

Wee dyslexic boy and girl in class.

Wee boy says, "Can you smell gas?"

Wee girl replies, "I canny even smell my name!"

Blonde

How do you get a blonde to drown?

Stick a mirror at the bottom of a pool.

Fruit

Why do you never see gay people in wheelchairs?

You can’t be a fruit and a vegetable at the same time.

Homework

What starts with S and ends with S? STUPID HOMEWORK NEVER ENDS.

What starts with C and ends with K? Children do not cook.

What did you think I was going to say? How bold of you to assume.

Fish

What do you think fish tasted like before women started swimming?

World

What do you call the Illuminati when they take over the world and control everything?

The Jew World Order.

Children

"What do you want to eat?"

"You choose."

"Children."

"What?"

*Picks up pot*

"You said anything!"